Autobiographical fiction; Impressionist artists -- France -- Paris -- Fiction; Paris (France) -- Intellectual life -- Fiction
Daylight was about to break, and Christine lay asleep beside Claude. She
was breathing softly, and a smile played upon her lips. He had closed
his eyes; and yet, despite himself, he opened them afresh and gazed into
the darkness. Sleep fled from him, and confused ideas again ascended
to his brain. As the dawn appeared, yellowishly dirty, like a splash
of liquid mud on the window-panes, he started, fancying that he heard
a loud voice calling to him from the far end of the studio. Then,
irresistibly, despite a few brief hours’ forgetfulness, all his old
thoughts returned, overflowing and torturing him, hollowing his cheeks
and contracting his jaws in the disgust he felt for mankind. Two
wrinkles imparted intense bitterness to the expression of his face,
which looked like the wasted countenance of an old man. And suddenly
the loud voice from the far end of the studio imperiously summoned him
a second time. Then he quite made up his mind: it was all over, he
suffered too much, he could no longer live, since everything was a lie,
since there was nothing left upon earth. Love! what was it? Nought but
a passing illusion. This thought at last mastered him, possessed him
entirely; and soon the craving for nothingness as his only refuge came
on him stronger than ever. At first he let Christine’s head slip down
from his shoulder on which it rested. And then, as a third summons rang
out in his mind, he rose and went to the studio, saying:
‘Yes, yes, I’m coming,’
The sky did not clear, it still remained dirty and mournful--it was one
of those lugubrious winter dawns; and an hour later Christine herself
awoke with a great chilly shiver. She did not understand at first. How
did it happen that she was alone? Then she remembered: she had fallen
asleep with her cheek against his. How was it then that he had left her?
Where could he be? Suddenly, amid her torpor, she sprang out of bed and
ran into the studio. Good God! had he returned to the other then? Had
the other seized hold of him again, when she herself fancied that she
had conquered him for ever?
She saw nothing at the first glance she took; in the cold and murky
morning twilight the studio seemed to her to be deserted. But whilst she
was tranquillising herself at seeing nobody there, she raised her eyes
to the canvas, and a terrible cry leapt from her gaping mouth:
‘Claude! oh, Claude!’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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