History of a literary radical, and other essaysBourne, Randolph Silliman
General
History of a literary radical, and other essays
Bourne, Randolph Silliman
American essays -- 20th century
plants look so terrifyingly like heads? Everywhere he looked there
appeared a bristling, clear shape. The window was a vast tracery of
strangeness. Gilbert was never quite sure how real they were, and he
was always grateful when the advancing light gradually brought out the
greenness of the leaves, and finally threw them into relief, so that
the menacing head would finally dissolve into the utterly meaningless
juncture of two geranium blossoms, and the elephant trunk became a
familiar begonia frond. Then he was cheered, and he wondered how he had
ever seen anything else. No wildest forcing of his imagination could
make him see the things he had seen.
It was in this room that Gilbert’s mother put the children to bed every
night, and then took out the lamp to her room, leaving the door just
slightly ajar, so they would not be afraid. Everything was so cozy and
comfortable during the undressing. Then would come the frightening
thought, “Perhaps this comforting presence is going to be withdrawn!”
For sometimes you would wake up suddenly with a little clutch at the
heart. The dim light would be burning through the crack of the door,
but there would be a vast stillness. You knew that the house was empty,
that somehow it was the middle of a night that would never end, and
everybody, Garna, Mother, and Annie, had gone off to some distant
muffled cavern and would never come again. Olga, sleeping in a little
round ball at your side, her eyes seraphically closed, was of no avail.
The light burned steadily on, only deepening the terror of eternity,
of being lost. Should you call? What would be the use? They were
infinitely far away, in a sort of Buddha-like trance. So you cried a
little, and fell off asleep.
Or if you did not go to sleep, you waited dumbly, and, after æons of
time, you heard an unmistakable door close softly downstairs, and in a
minute Mother was looking in at you, to see if you were safe. And you
said, “Mother!” in a half-choking voice, while great waves of relief
and happiness surged through you, and you went sound asleep. So Gilbert
got in the habit of asking his mother every night whether she was going
out. And what assurance and peace there was when she said she was not!
He was safe, no matter how long the night lasted.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account