History of a literary radical, and other essaysBourne, Randolph Silliman
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History of a literary radical, and other essays
Bourne, Randolph Silliman
American essays -- 20th century
He was always present, because before every meal they would all put
down their heads, so that they breathed upon their plates, and they
would ask Jesus to bless their food. Sometimes Gilbert would say it,
sometimes Olga, and the food unblessed would have tasted bad in their
mouths. Gilbert would have had a vague presentiment of something evil.
Did Garna and Mother love God? Garna must, because every day she would
put on her gold-rimmed spectacles and read a chapter in her Bible, and
mother would kneel down with Gilbert and Olga at night while they said
their prayers, and often murmur something fervently with them. The
prayers, they understood, were addressed directly to God in heaven,
and were necessary if you were to show your gratitude to the Heavenly
Father and ensure for yourself a peaceful and secure night. You asked
God also to bless all those people you were fond of, and you knew that
if they should die before they woke, their souls also would be taken to
Heaven with yours.
If it was only with painful effort that Gilbert in his early days of
church and Sunday School loved God and Jesus, whom did he love? Did he
love Mother? He did not know. He loved her very much at night when he
felt her protecting presence in the house, but in the daytime she was
a strange being who did not seem interested in Gilbert and Olga. She
spent most of her time with little brother, or, if he were asleep, she
would be lying stretched across the foot of the bed, with her face in
her hands. Often there were tears in her eyes, and if Gilbert wanted
her to do something for him, she would say piteously that she was not
well. There were no more walks on the village green, but this did not
make any difference to Gilbert, for the wonderful yard in which Garna’s
house stood was a region that could never be explored or exhausted.
The one person that Gilbert knew he loved was Garna. You could not
always see her, for she would be shut up in her room; but when you were
let in, how inexhaustible she was, how comfortable you felt, playing
about on the floor while Garna sat always by the window, sewing, always
sewing, looking so wise and jolly and good out of her gold-rimmed
spectacles. Garna was always the same, and always good to be with and
look upon. Gilbert loved to sit in her lap, and touch her hair, brushed
to such silky smoothness and parted in the middle. As she bent over, he
would run both hands back over it from her forehead, and laugh as she
laughed and pretended to arrange it again.
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