Home Influence: A Tale for Mothers and DaughtersAguilar, Grace
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Home Influence: A Tale for Mothers and Daughters
Aguilar, Grace
Domestic fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction
"If you accustomed yourself constantly to pray against this great fault,
my dear child, you would find, that its very first approach would so
startle you, that you would use every energy to subdue it. But I fear,
it is only when temper has made you miserable, as it has to-day, that
you are quite aware of its enormity. You do not think the fault great
enough to demand the watchfulness and care without which it never will
be subdued."
"I am afraid I do not indeed, mamma. I know I do not make it a subject
of prayer, as you have so often advised me, except when every thing
looks so black, and I am so miserable; and then, I fear, I ask more to
be happy again, than for forgiveness of my sin, and for grace and
strength to overcome it. I never felt this to be the case so strongly as
to-day, but your coldness seems to have shown me my whole self, and I
never thought I was so wicked, and so I must be miserable."
Mrs. Hamilton involuntarily drew her child more closely to her. The
humility, the bitterness of self-reproach, was so unlike Caroline's
usual haughtiness--so very much deeper than they had ever been before,
that she hoped, in spite of her anxiety, and her voice audibly trembled
as she answered--
"If you really feel this, my Caroline, you will not hesitate to follow
my advice, and really pray and watch against this unhappy temper, even
when every thing is so smooth and happy, that you can not imagine why
you need. Sin always gains ascendency by using pleasure as his covering.
Do not let a single cross word, or momentary unkind thought, pass
unnoticed; never cease in your petition for grace and strength, but do
not be content with only prayer; you must use effort as well, and if
your thoughts will be black, and you feel as if you could not conquer
them by yourself, nor banish them even by your favorite employments,
come to me, confess them without fear or hesitation to me, and let us
try if we can not conquer them together. Will you promise me to try this
plan, Caroline?"
Caroline could not reply, for every kind word her mother spoke, seemed
to heighten self-reproach, and make her still more wretched. Mrs.
Hamilton felt that there was no refusal in her silence, and continued
talking to her in that same gentle strain a little while longer, and
then rose to leave her--but Caroline looked so sorrowful that she
hesitated.
"No, mamma, I do not deserve that you should stay with me, and so
deprive Emmeline and Ellen, and the boys of their favorite hour," she
said, though the tears started again to her eyes, for she felt as if it
would be an indescribable comfort still to be alone with her mother. "I
am too unhappy and too ashamed to join them, if I may remain away?" Mrs.
Hamilton answered in the affirmative. "I have not a thing prepared for
to-morrow, and--and I do not--indeed, I do not mean to give you any more
trouble with my studies. I hate myself for that, too."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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