Home Influence: A Tale for Mothers and Daughters — John Shaqi
Home Influence: A Tale for Mothers and DaughtersAguilar, Grace
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Home Influence: A Tale for Mothers and Daughters
Aguilar, Grace
Domestic fiction; Mothers and daughters -- Fiction
"And will she never, never speak to me again? will she never kiss
me--never call me her own darling, beautiful Edward again?" he almost
screamed in passionate grief, as the truth at length forced itself upon
him. "Mamma, mamma, my own dear, pretty, good mamma, oh! do not go away
from me--or let me go with you--let me die too; no one will love me and
kiss me as you have done." And even the natural awe and terror of death
gave way before his grief; he clung to the body of his mother so
passionately, so convulsively, that it required actual force to remove
him. And for hours his aunt and sister watched over and tried to soothe
and comfort him in vain; he would only rouse himself angrily to ask
Ellen how she could know what he felt; she had never loved their mother
as he had--she did not know what he had lost--she could not feel as he
did, and then relapse into tears and sobs. Ellen did not attempt reply.
She thought, if it were such pain to her to lose her mother, who had
only the last few weeks evinced affection for her, it must indeed be
still more suffering to him; and though his angry words grieved and hurt
her (for she knew she did love her mother most fondly, her idea of her
own extreme inferiority acquitted her unconsciously of all injustice
toward her, and made her believe that she had loved Edward best only
because he was so much better than herself), his very grief caused her
to love and admire him still more, and to believe that she really did
not feel as much as he did. And yet before they quitted Llangwillan,
which they did the second day after Mrs. Fortescue's funeral, Edward
could laugh and talk as usual--except when any object recalled his
mother; and poor Ellen felt that though she had fancied she was not
happy before, she was much more unhappy now. Her fancy naturally vivid,
and rendered more so from her having been left so much to herself, dwelt
morbidly on all that had passed in her mother's illness, on every
caress, every unusual word of affection, and on Mr. Myrvin's assurance
that she would love her in Heaven; the promise she had made to love and
help Edward returned to her memory again and again, and each time with
the increased determination to keep it solemnly. It was not for her
mother's sake alone, and connected only with her; perhaps, had it not
been for the careful instructions of her father, whom, as we shall
presently see, she had cause almost to idolize, Ellen might have become
indifferent to her mother and envious of Edward. But his repeated
instructions, under all circumstances to love, cherish, and obey her
mother had been indelibly engraved, and heightened natural feeling. She
believed that to keep the promise, which had so evidently pleased her
mother, would be also obeying her father, and this double incentive gave
it a weight and consequence, which, could Mrs. Hamilton have known it,
would have caused her great anxiety, and urged its removal. But Ellen
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