He looked down at her and smiled, wondering why he came. There was still
an air of unreality about the whole situation. He felt numb. He had felt
that way ever since the first day, and the feeling had grown, until now
he moved and spoke and smiled and ate and it was as if he were someone
else and the person he had been was gone completely. He liked coming
here. But there was no triumph in being with these people, no sense of
having found his own kind, no purpose, nothing but a vague contentment
and an unwillingness to search any farther.
"You're very quiet," Lisa said.
"I know. I was thinking."
She reached out and touched his arm, her fingers strong and muscular. He
smiled at her but made no move toward her, and after a moment she sighed
and took her hand away.
"Why are you so different, Eric?"
"Perhaps because I was raised by the others, the normal ones. Perhaps
just because I've read so many books about the old race...."
They came up to the boulders that blocked the entrance of the little
gorge where the hut was. Lisa started toward them, then stopped
abruptly.
"Let's go on up the hill. I want to talk to you, without them."
"All right."
He followed her without speaking, concentrating all his effort on
scrambling over the rougher spots in the trail. She didn't say anything
more until they had come out on a high ledge that overlooked the whole
canyon and she had sat down and motioned for him to sit down too.
"Whew," he panted. "You're a mountain goat, Lisa."
She didn't smile. "I've liked your coming to see us," she said. "I like
to listen to you talk. I like the tales you tell of the old ones. But
Mag and Nell are upset."
He knew what was coming. His eyes met hers, and then he looked away and
reddened and felt sorry for her and what he would have to tell her. This
was a subject they had managed to avoid ever since that first day,
although the older women brought it up whenever he saw them.
"Mag says I must have a man," Lisa said. Her voice was tight. He
couldn't tell if she was crying because he couldn't bear to look at her.
He could only stare out over the canyon and listen and wait.
"She says if it isn't you I'll have to find someone else, later on, but
she says it ought to be you. Because _they're_ dangerous, and besides,
if it's you our children will be sure to be like us."
"What?" He swung around, startled. "Do you mean that if one parent were
normal the child might be too?"
"Yes," she said. "It might. They say that's happened. Sometimes. No one
knows why we're born. No one knows why some are one way and some
another."
"Lisa...." He stopped.
"I know. You don't want me. I've known that all the time."
"It isn't just that."
He tried to find the words to express what he felt, but anything he
might say would be cold and cruel and not quite true. He felt the
contentment drain out of him, and he felt annoyed, because he didn't
want to have to think about her problem, or about anything.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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