"They'll never let you do it, Eric. It's a mad dream."
"What are you talking about?"
"The ship. You want to go to the stars, don't you?"
Eric stared at him, more surprised than he'd been in years. He had said
nothing. There was no way for Walden to know. Unless he'd perceived
it--and Eric couldn't be perceived, any more than he could perceive
other people....
Walden shook his head. "It wasn't telepathy that told me. It was your
eyes. The way you look at the ship. And besides, I've known you for
years now. And I've wondered how long it would be before you thought of
this answer."
"Well, why not?" Eric looked across at the ship, and his throat caught,
choking him, the way it always did. "I'm lonely here. My people are
gone. Why shouldn't I go?"
"You'd be lonelier inside that ship, by yourself, away from Earth, away
from everything, and with no assurance you'd ever find anyone at all,
old race or new or alien...."
Eric didn't answer. He looked back at the ship, thinking of the books,
trying to think of it as a prison, a weightless prison carrying him
forever into the unknown, with no one to talk to, no one to see.
Walden was right. He would be too much alone in the ship. He'd have to
postpone his dream.
He'd wait until he was old, and take the ship and die in it....
Eric smiled at the thought. He was seventeen, old enough to know that
his idea was adolescent and melodramatic. He knew, suddenly, that he'd
never fly the ship.
* * * * *
The years passed. Eric spent most of his time at the museum. He had his
own aircar now, and sometimes he flew it home and visited with his
parents. They liked to have him come. They liked it much better than
having to travel all the way to the museum to visit him.
Yet, though he wasn't dependent on other people any more, and could fly
the aircar as he chose, he didn't do much exploring. He didn't have any
desire to meet strangers. And there were always the books.
"You're sure you're all right?" his mother said. "You don't need
anything?"
"No. I'm fine."
He smiled, looking out through the sunporch wall into the garden. It
seemed years and years since he'd pressed his nose to the glass,
watching the butterflies. It had been a long time.
"I've got to get going," he said. "I want to be back at the museum by
dark."
"Well, if you're sure you won't stay...."
They said goodbye and he went out and got into the aircar and started
back. He flew slowly, close to the ground, because he really had plenty
of time and he felt lazy. He skimmed along over a valley and heard
laughter and dipped lower. A group of children was playing. Young
ones--they even talked aloud sometimes as they played. Children....
There were so many children, always in groups, laughing....
He flew on, quickly, until he was in a part of the country where he
didn't see any houses. Just a stream and a grove of trees and bright
flowers. He dropped lower, stopped, got out and walked down to the
stream.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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