Church history -- 4th century -- Fiction; German fiction -- Translations into English
"Time has not blotted out from my memory a single moment of that day.
There stood the altar, and near it the heathen priest on one side, and on
the other the emperor's officer. We were taken up two by two; Magdalen
and I were the last. One word now--one little word--would give us life
and freedom, another the rack and death. Out of thirty of us only four
had found courage to refuse to sacrifice, but the feeble hearted broke
out into lamentations, and beat their foreheads, and prayed that the Lord
might strengthen the courage of the others. An unutterably pure and
lofty joy filled my soul, and I felt, as if we were out of the body
floating on ambient clouds. Softly and calmly we refused to sacrifice,
thanked the imperial official, who warned us kindly, and in the same hour
and place we fell into the hands of the torturers. She gazed only up to
heaven, and I only at her, but in the midst of the most frightful
torments I saw before me the Saviour beckoning to me, surrounded by
angels that soared on soft airs, whose presence filled my eyes with the
purest light, and my ears with heavenly music. She bore the utmost
torture without flinching, only once she called out the name of her son
Hermas; then I turned to look at her, and saw her gazing up to Heaven
with wide open eyes and trembling lips-living, but already with the Lord
--on the rack, and yet in bliss. My stronger body clung to the earth;
she found deliverance at the first blow of the torturer.
"I myself closed her eyes, the sweetest eyes in which Heaven was ever
mirrored, I drew a ring from her dear, white, blood-stained hand, and
here under the rough sheepskin I have it yet; and I pray, I pray, I pray
--oh! my heart! My God if it might be--if this is the end--!"
Paulus put his hand to his head, and sank exhausted on the bed, in a deep
swoon. The sick man had followed his story with breathless interest.
Some time since he had risen from his bed, and, unobserved by his
companion, had sunk on his knees; he now dragged himself, all hot and
trembling, to the side of the senseless man, tore the sheep's fell from
his breast, and with hasty movement sought the ring; he found it, and
fixing on it passionate eyes, as though he would melt it with their fire,
he pressed it again and again to his lips, to his heart, to his lips
again; buried his face in his hands and wept bitterly.
It was not till Hermas returned from the oasis that Stephanus thought of
his exhausted and fainting friend, and with his son's assistance restored
him to conscious ness. Paulus did not refuse to take some food and
drink, and in the cool of the evening, when he was refreshed and
invigorated, he sat again by the side of Stephanus, and understood
from the old man that Magdalen was certainly his wife.
"Now I know," said Paulus, pointing to Hermas, "how it is that from the
first I felt such a love for the lad there."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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