“This man, wrapped in the threefold duties of the statesman, the judge,
and the orator, charmed me by a taste for flowers, which shows an
elegant mind, and which is shared by almost all persons of refinement.
His garden and his study were full of the rarest plants, but he always
bought them half-withered. Perhaps it pleased him to see such an image
of his own fate! He was faded like these dying flowers, whose almost
decaying fragrance mounted strangely to his brain. The Count loved his
country; he devoted himself to public interests with the frenzy of a
heart that seeks to cheat some other passion; but the studies and
work into which he threw himself were not enough for him; there were
frightful struggles in his mind, of which some echoes reached me.
Finally, he would give utterance to harrowing aspirations for happiness,
and it seemed to me he ought yet to be happy; but what was the obstacle?
Was there a woman he loved? This was a question I asked myself. You may
imagine the extent of the circles of torment that my mind had searched
before coming to so simple and so terrible a question. Notwithstanding
his efforts, my patron did not succeed in stifling the movements of his
heart. Under his austere manner, under the reserve of the magistrate, a
passion rebelled, though coerced with such force that no one but I
who lived with him ever guessed the secret. His motto seemed to be,
‘I suffer, and am silent.’ The escort of respect and admiration
which attended him; the friendship of workers as valiant as
himself--Grandville and Serizy, both presiding judges--had no hold over
the Count: either he told them nothing, or they knew all. Impassible and
lofty in public, the Count betrayed the man only on rare intervals when,
alone in his garden or his study, he supposed himself unobserved; but
then he was a child again, he gave course to the tears hidden beneath
the toga, to the excitement which, if wrongly interpreted, might have
damaged his credit for perspicacity as a statesman.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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