Bonnie Jim Campbell came riding home, And now he sits in the rural gloam; A tear steals furtively down his nose As salt as the river that yonder flows; To the setting sun and the rising moon He plaintively warbles the good old tune: "Of all the drinks that ever were made-- From sherbet to circus lemonade-- Not one's so healthy and sweet, I vow, As the rich, thick cream of the Elgin cow! Oh, that she were here to enliven the scene, Right merry would be our hearts, I ween; Then, then again, Bob Wilbanks and I Would take it by turns and milk her dry! We would stuff her paunch with the best of hay And milk her a hundred times a day!" 'Tis thus that Bonnie Jim Campbell sings-- A young he-angel with sprouting wings; He sings and he prays that Fate'll allow Him one more whack at the Elgin cow! LYMAN, FREDERICK AND JIM. Lyman and Frederick and Jim, one day, Set out in a great big ship-- Steamed to the ocean down to the bay Out of a New York slip. "Where are you going and what is your game?" The people asked to those three. "Darned, if we know; but all the same Happy as larks are we; And happier still we're going to be!" Said Lyman And Frederick And Jim. The people laughed "Aha, oho! Oho, aha!" laughed they; And while those three went sailing so Some pirates steered that way. The pirates they were laughing, too-- The prospect made them glad; But by the time the job was through Each of them pirates bold and bad, Had been done out of all he had By Lyman And Frederick And Jim. Days and weeks and months they sped, Painting that foreign clime A beautiful, bright vermillion red-- And having a -- of a time! 'Twas all so gaudy a lark, it seemed, As if it could not be, And some folks thought it a dream they dreamed Of sailing that foreign sea, But I'll identify you these three-- Lyman And Frederick And Jim. Lyman and Frederick are bankers and sich And Jim is an editor kind; The first two named are awfully rich And Jim ain't far behind! So keep your eyes open and mind your tricks, Or you are like to be In quite as much of a Tartar fix As the pirates that sailed the sea And monkeyed with the pardners three, Lyman And Frederick And Jim. A WAIL. My name is Col. Johncey New, And by a hoosier's grace I have congenial work to do At 12 St. Helen's place. I was as happy as a clam A-floating with the tide, Till one day came a cablegram To me from t'other side. It was a Macedonian cry From Benjy o'er the sea; "Come hither, Johncey, instantly, And whoop things up for me!" I could not turn a callous ear Unto that piteous cry; I packed my grip, and for the pier Directly started I.