Things finally got into such a very dreadful way That the others (oh, how artful!) formed the politic design To send him to the reichstag; so, one dull November day They elected him a member from the Rhine! Then the other members said: "Gott in Himmel; what a head!" But they marveled when his speeches they listened to or read; And presently they cried: "There must be heaps inside Of the smooth and shiny cranium his constituents deride!" Well, when at last he up 'nd died--long past his ninetieth year-- The strangest and the most luguberous funeral he had, For women came in multitudes to weep upon his bier-- The men all wond'ring why on earth the women had gone mad! And this wonderment increased, Till the sympathetic priest Inquired of those same ladies: "Why this fuss about deceased?" Whereupon they were appalled, For, as one, those women squalled: "We doted on deceased for being bald--bald--bald!" He was bald because his genius burnt that shock of hair away, Which, elsewise, clogs one's keenness and activity of mind, And (barring present company, of course,) I'm free to say That, after all, it's intellect that captures woman-kind. At any rate, since then (With a precedent in Ben), The women-folk have been in love with us bald-headed men! IN HOLLAND. Our course lay up a smooth canal Through tracks of velvet green, And through the shade that windmills made, And pasture lands between. The kine had canvas on their backs To temper Autumn's spite, And everywhere there was an air Of comfort and delight. My wife, dear philosophic soul! Saw here whereof to prate: "Vain fools are we across the sea To boast our nobler state! Go north or south or east or west, Or wheresoever you please, You shall not find what's here combined-- Equality and ease! "How tidy are these honest homes In every part and nook-- The men folk wear a prosperous air, The women happy look. Seeing the peace that smiles around, I would our land was such-- Think as you may, I'm free to say I would we were the Dutch!" Just then we overtook a boat (The Golden Tulip hight)-- Big with the weight of motley freight, It was a goodly sight! Meynheer van Blarcom sat on deck, With pipe in lordly pose, And with his son of twenty-one He played at dominoes. Then quoth my wife: "How fair to see This sturdy, honest man Beguile all pain and lust of gain With whatso joys he can; Methinks his spouse is down below Beading a kerchief gay-- A babe, mayhap, lolls in her lap In the good old Milky way.