and some how or another got onto it and away I went. It was mighty much softer 'n walking, I tell you, and I was pleased as a monkey with a red cap on. My, how fast that train did go! I could hardly hold onto where I wus. You may jist bet I clung on though, and finally I got myself setting down on the steps and then I was all hunkey. But I didn't have much time to enjoy myself there, though, for all of a sudden the light of a lantern shined on me and then somebody touched me and said-- 'Ticket!' "Mebbe you don't know how onery a feller'll feel sometimes when he hears that 'ere word ticket--'specially when he a'n't got no ticket nor no money to pay his fare, and too, when he does want to ride a little of the derndest! That was my fix! I'd 'a' give a thousand dollars for a half dollar! 'Ticket!' "He shook me a little this time and held his lantern down low, so's to see into my face. I know I must 'a' looked like the de'il. 'Ticket here, quick!' 'I've done paid,' said I. 'Show your check then.' 'Lost it,' says I. 'Money, then, quick!' 'Got none,' says I. 'What the ---- did you git onto my train for without ticket or money? How do you expect to travel without paying, you ---- lousy vagabond! You can't steal from me; out with your ---- wallet and gi' me the money! Hurry up!' 'A'n't got no wallet nor no money,' says I. 'Well, I'll dump you off right here, then,' said he, reaching for the bell-rope to stop the train. 'For the Lord's sake let me ride to Savanny!' says I. 'A dam Northerner, I know from your voice!' said he, pulling the rope. The train began to slack and soon stopped. 'Get off!' said the conductor. 'Please l'me ride!' says I. 'Off with you!' 'Jist a few miles here on the steps!' 'Off, quick!' 'Please----' 'Here you go!' and as he said the words he tried to kick me off. "In a second I was like a Bengal tiger. I jumped up and gethered him and we went at it. I'm as good as ever fluttered, and pretty soon I give him one flat on the nose, and we both went off 'n the platform together. As I started off I happened to think of it, so I grabbed up and pulled the bell-rope to signal the engineer to drive on. 'Hoot-toot!' says the whistle, and away lick-to-split went the train, and slashy-to-splashy, rattle-o-bangle, kewoppyty-whop, bump, thud! down me and that 'ere conductor come onto a pile o' wore out cross ties in the side ditch, and there we laid a fightin'! "But you jest bet it didn't take me long to settle _him_. He soon began to sing out ''nuff! 'nuff! take 'm off!' and so I took him by the hair and dragged him off 'n the cross ties, shot him one or two more under the ear with my fist, and then dropped him. He crawled up and stood looking at me as if I was the awfulest thing in the world. I s'pect I did look scary, for I was terrible mad. His face was bruised up mightily, but he wasn't a bleeding much. He was mostly swelled.