Hopes and Fears: or, scenes from the life of a spinsterYonge, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Mary)
General
Hopes and Fears: or, scenes from the life of a spinster
Yonge, Charlotte M. (Charlotte Mary)
England -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
To worship Humfrey was an easier thing at a distance than when beside
him. Honora came back to Sandbeach thoroughly restless and wretched,
reproaching herself with having wasted such constant, priceless
affection, haunted by the constant dread of each morning's post, and
longing fervently to be on the spot. She had self-command enough not to
visit her dejection on the children, but they missed both her spirits and
her vigilance, and were more left to their nurse; and her chief solace
was in long solitary walks, or in evening talks with Miss Wells. Kind
Miss Wells perhaps guessed how matters stood between the two last
Charlecotes, but she hinted not her suspicions, and was the unwearied
recipient of all Honora's histories, of his symptoms, of his
cheerfulness, and his solicitude for her. Those talks did her good, they
set the real Humfrey before her, and braced her to strive against
weakness and despondence.
And then the thought grew on her, why, since they were so thoroughly each
other's, why should they not marry, and be together to the last? Why
should he be left to his solitude for this final year? why should their
meetings be so prudentially chaperoned? Suppose the disease should be
lingering, how hard it was that she should be absent, and he left to
servants! She could well imagine why he had not proposed it; he was too
unselfish to think of exposing her to the shock, or making her a widow,
but how came she never to have thought of it? She stood beyond all
ordinary rules--she had nothing worldly to gain nor to lose by being his
wife for these few remaining months--it surely was her part, after the
way she had treated him, to meet him more than half way--she alone could
make the proposal--she would--she must. And oh! if the doctors should be
mistaken! So spoke the midnight dream--oh! how many times. But what
said cool morning? Propriety had risen up, grave decorum objecting to
what would shock Humfrey, ay, and was making Honor's cheeks tingle. Yes,
and there came the question whether he would not be more distressed than
gratified--he who wished to detach himself from all earthly ties--whether
he might not be pained and displeased at her thus clinging to him--nay,
were he even gratified, might not emotion and agitation be fatal?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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