In these dull and lonely moments also one inevitably asks whether it is
true that people exist who are stolid to pain? One may consecrate it
before it comes and after it goes, but to most of us feeble folk pain
when present occupies the whole limelight and leaves the rest of the
stage in darkness! The only inmate of the hospital who stirred my temper
was a patient who on making a rapid recovery from what he described as
a very severe operation said he had refused ether and did not mind pain.
I regained my equanimity when an orderly confided to me that the
operation had been slight!
In health one is apt to think that Love is the great motive power of
humanity. In illness and suffering Pain seems the great and pressing
problem. They often go hand in hand and perhaps it is true that without
them both life has not rendered its full wealth or its perfect
discipline. "The ennobling depths of pain" need also "the purifying fire
of love" to round out a perfect character.
"Incomprehensibly Love's will doth move
Through this blind world in ways we cannot see,
Death giving birth to life. So does deep sorrow
Give birth to rarer joy on some glad morrow."
These and many such questions can be as solemn, as perplexing and as
engrossing as any that exercised the inmates of the Monastery to which
we here find so much resemblance. As a contrast to such heart-searching
thoughts the patient can wonder at the properties of that radium by
which he may have been treated. How astonishing is it that this atom of
matter should constantly emit rays which search out and destroy evil
tissues and leave unharmed the good; and that they do this without any
perceptible diminution of energy! How contrary this is to all we have
hitherto known of the conservation of energy and of the impossibility
of obtaining perpetual motion or continued power! What is so contrary to
our preconceived ideas proves itself, however, by experience efficient
in an almost supernatural or miraculous manner. Perhaps fatigued by
these thoughts the patient can turn from them and closing his eyes begin
to count "The flock of sheep that leisurely pass by one after one" and
by happy chance submit himself to sleep.
The roof terrace has a wide view over the City of Baltimore, as well as
of the heavens which encompass it. We sit there in our wheel chairs or
lie tucked up in our rolling beds and talk flows freely. We watch the
flocks of pigeons making endless circles in the upper air; the black and
solemn buzzards hanging above us unmoved though the gale blow ever so
fiercely; the cloud shadows moving over the panorama; the haze of mist
and steam and smoke floating over the City; the ever-changing pageant of
fleeting clouds and blue sky and blazing sunsets. At one time--
"And when the wind from place to place
Doth the unmoored cloud galleons chase"--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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