Household Papers and StoriesStowe, Harriet Beecher
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Household Papers and Stories
Stowe, Harriet Beecher
Didactic fiction; Home economics -- Fiction; Short stories
"I wonder why papa never had a study to himself; I'm sure I should
think he would like it better than sitting here among us all. Now
there's the great south room off the dining-room; if he would only
move his things there and have his open fire, we could then close up
the fireplace and put lounges in the recesses, and mamma could have
her things in the nursery,--and then we should have a parlor fit to be
seen."
I overheard all this, though I pretended not to,--the little busy
chits supposing me entirely buried in the recesses of a German book
over which I was poring.
There are certain crises in a man's life when the female element in
his household asserts itself in dominant forms that seem to threaten
to overwhelm him. The fair creatures, who in most matters have
depended on his judgment, evidently look upon him at these seasons as
only a forlorn, incapable male creature, to be cajoled and flattered
and persuaded out of his native blindness and absurdity into the
fairyland of their wishes.
"Of course, mamma," said the busy voices, "men can't understand such
things. What can men know of housekeeping, and how things ought to
look? Papa never goes into company; he don't know and don't care how
the world is doing, and don't see that nobody now is living as we
do."
"Aha, my little mistresses, are you there?" I thought; and I mentally
resolved on opposing a great force of what our politicians call
backbone to this pretty domestic conspiracy.
"When you get my writing-table out of this corner, my pretty dears,
I'd thank you to let me know it."
Thus spake I in my blindness, fool that I was. Jupiter might as soon
keep awake when Juno came in best bib and tucker, and with the cestus
of Venus, to get him to sleep. Poor Slender might as well hope to get
the better of pretty Mistress Anne Page as one of us clumsy-footed men
might endeavor to escape from the tangled labyrinth of female wiles.
In short, in less than a year it was all done, without any quarrel,
any noise, any violence,--done, I scarce knew when or how, but with
the utmost deference to my wishes, the most amiable hopes that I would
not put myself out, the most sincere protestations that, if I liked it
better as it was, my goddesses would give up and acquiesce. In fact I
seemed to do it of myself, constrained thereto by what the Emperor
Napoleon has so happily called the logic of events,--that old,
well-known logic by which the man who has once said A must say B, and
he who has said B must say the whole alphabet. In a year we had a
parlor with two lounges in decorous recesses, a fashionable sofa, and
six chairs and a looking-glass, and a grate always shut up, and a hole
in the floor which kept the parlor warm, and great, heavy curtains
that kept out all the light that was not already excluded by the green
shades.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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