Household Papers and StoriesStowe, Harriet Beecher
General
Household Papers and Stories
Stowe, Harriet Beecher
Didactic fiction; Home economics -- Fiction; Short stories
We hear of most convenient marriages in foreign lands, which may
better be described as commercial partnerships. The money on each side
is counted; there is enough between the parties to carry on the firm,
each having the appropriate sum allotted to each. No love is
pretended, but there is great politeness. All is so legally and
thoroughly arranged that there seems to be nothing left for future
quarrels to fasten on. Monsieur and Madame have each their apartments,
their carriages, their servants, their income, their friends, their
pursuits,--understand the solemn vows of marriage to mean simply that
they are to treat each other with urbanity in those few situations
where the path of life must necessarily bring them together.
We are sorry that such an idea of marriage should be gaining
foothold in America. It has its root in an ignoble view of life,--an
utter and pagan darkness as to all that man and woman are called
to do in that highest relation where they act as one. It is a mean
and low contrivance on both sides, by which all the grand work of
home-building, all the noble pains and heroic toils of home
education--that education where the parents learn more than they
teach--shall be (let us use the expressive Yankee idiom) _shirked_.
It is a curious fact that, in those countries where this system of
marriages is the general rule, there is no word corresponding to our
English word "home." In many polite languages of Europe it would be
impossible neatly to translate the sentiment with which we began this
essay, that a man's house is not always his home.
Let any one try to render the song, "Sweet Home," into French, and one
finds how Anglo-Saxon is the very genius of the word. The structure of
life, in all its relations, in countries where marriages are matter of
arrangement and not of love, excludes the idea of home.
How does life run in such countries? The girl is recalled from her
convent or boarding-school, and told that her father has found a
husband for her. No objection on her part is contemplated or provided
for; none generally occurs, for the child is only too happy to obtain
the fine clothes and the liberty which she has been taught come only
with marriage. Be the man handsome or homely, interesting or stupid,
still he brings these.
How intolerable such a marriage! we say, with the close intimacies of
Anglo-Saxon life in our minds. They are not intolerable, because they
are provided for by arrangements which make it possible for each to go
his or her several way, seeing very little of the other. The son or
daughter, which in due time makes its appearance in this menage, is
sent out to nurse in infancy, sent to boarding-school in youth, and in
maturity portioned and married, to repeat the same process for another
generation. Meanwhile father and mother keep a quiet establishment and
pursue their several pleasures. Such is the system.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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