"Suggestions are now in order," said Kibosh, taking the chairman's seat. Three profound scholars stood up. "The only way----" they began, with one voice. "Professor Flawless Nathan Maverick has the floor," said Kibosh. "I presume the Professor will think no change in pecan nuts necessary." And the chairman smiled sociably at the scholar. "The only way," said Maverick, "is to abolish all words that foreigners cannot spell." "You mean cut 'em out of the language, suh?" inquired Jesse Willows. "I do." "Phew!" whistled Willows. "Order, gentlemen," smiled the chairman. "Professor Camillo Cottsill has the floor." "The only way," said this scholar, "is to abolish all words that children cannot spell." "Phew!" repeated Willows. "Order, gentlemen, please," said the chairman, gently tapping an inkstand with a pencil. But he was not heeded. "Who are you whistling at?" demanded Camillo Cottsill. "Can't yore children spell?" retorted Willows. "Can yours?" shouted Cottsill. At this Jesse Willows blushed a deep red, and so did Miss Appleby. "He is not married, Professor," said Kibosh, tapping the inkstand soothingly. "My little daughter Zola B. can spell everything," said Maverick. "How about the others?" demanded Cottsill. "My salary only affords me one," stated Maverick, with resignation. "Then how can you judge?" said Cottsill. "Receive, and believe, and bereave should be cut out at once." "They should not," said Maverick. "Oh, cut everything out," sighed Willows. "Hup, hup, hup, hup," began Professor Egghorn. "The author of Mustard Plasters has the floor," said Kibosh, with civility. "The only way," continued Egghorn, "is to hup, hup, hup." "Start the organ, please," said Kibosh to an assistant; and while the gasoline music played, "My spelling 'tis of thee," Kibosh walked round the table and gave every one an individual box of chickle. We chewed in silence, waiting for the voice of Professor Egghorn to go again. "Hup, hup," said he, at length; "phonetic." "I object!" Cottsill and Maverick called out loudly together. "I move it's phonetic," said Totts. "Second the hup, hup," said Egghorn. "Those in favor----" Kibosh began. "That's not properly seconded," interrupted Cottsill. "Motion!" finished Egghorn, with a shriek. And we carried phonetic by eighteen to two. "Since Professor Egghorn has shown us the only way," said Kibosh, "will he not kindly lead off with his suggestions for a reform list?" But once again the professor's utterance was transfixed. "Give the pore gennleman a piece of chalk," said Willows, "and send him to the blackboa'd."