"But consistency----" objected Maverick. "You cut out consistency yourself," Cottsill reminded him. We despatched the past participles, and came also without much disturbance through catalog, demagog, and so forth (vogue and rogue made some trouble, and our fundamental principle of inconsistency had once more to be asserted), but when their blood was roused and the fire of simplification grew hot in them, and they adopted the following with cheers and noises of feet---- Receev, deceev, conceev, beleev, weev, leev, greev, seez, pleez, teez-- I felt that we had really got near the weeding-out point, especially when Jesse Willows rose and added fleez. "Plural of dogbiters," he explained, and sat down quietly. At this Miss Appleby gave one brief, happy laugh, but at once resumed a singular tapping of her foot which I had begun to observe. We now thoroughly phoneticked many words: blud, for instance, and wunss (which is so much phoneticker than once!) and the days of the week: Munday, for instance, and Toozday. (I say Tewsday, myself, but I did not mention it to these profound American scholars.) "My little daughter Zola B.," said Professor Maverick, "can always spell Wednesday." "My nine children never can," said Totts. "I withdraw the objection," said Maverick; and so it was Wensday. Skwirl, for squirrel, was next agreed upon, and lepard, and eegl. And as the blood of the scholars grew ever hotter and hotter, Constitooshun, Deklarayshun, and United Staits were adopted. "But my Zola B.----" began Maverick. "What are you-all goin' to call yore next?" asked Willows. Maverick sighed. "My salary only affords----" "Beg yore pardon, suh, I forgot," said Willows, with sympathy. It was here that I rose. "Gentlemen," I said, "let us do it right. Of course, English spelling is but a rag-bag of lawlessness." "He has said that before," muttered Jesse Willows. "But," I continued, "the sun never sets on English spelling." "I object to these constant, trivial interruptions," stated Cottsill. "Yes, let us onward," urged the chairman. "Play ball!" added Totts. "Chew gum!" finished Cottsill. "I'm through," Egghorn said, sitting down. It was beyond my power to guide them. I also sat down. I also was through. "Through?" exclaimed Totts. "That reminds me." And running to his blackboard he wrote:-- THRU "What's that thing?" asked Willows. "Hup, hup," began Egghorn. "Through," replied Totts, raising his voice. "_What_?" said Willows, raising his voice, too. "Through, through!" answered the convention in a body. And Miss Appleby, amid the general din, remarked, "That's the way a pig would spell if it got the chance." "Thru, clu, blu, nu, hu," wrote Totts. "Hu? Hu?" repeated Willows, vacantly; "what's hu?" "Hup, hup, hup," vainly continued Egghorn, waving his arms. "Hu's who," explained Cottsill, loudly. "Who, who!" explained the whole convention to Willows.