How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to Marriage — John Shaqi
How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to MarriageHardy, E. J. (Edward John)
General
How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to Marriage
Hardy, E. J. (Edward John)
Marriage
Formerly a woman's library was limited to the Bible and a cookery-book.
This curriculum has now been considerably extended, and it is everywhere
acknowledged that "chemistry enough to keep the pot boiling, and
geography enough to know the different rooms in her house," is _not_
science enough for women. It is surely not impossible, however, for an
intending husband to find a girl who can make her higher education
compatible with his comforts, who can when necessary bring her
philosophy down to the kitchen. Why should literature unfit women for
the everyday business of life? It is not so with men. You see those of
the most cultivated minds constantly devoting their time and attention
to the most homely objects.
The other day, speaking superficially and uncharitably, a person said of
a woman, whom he knew but slightly, "She disappoints me utterly. How
could her husband have married her? She is commonplace and stupid."
"Yes," said a friend, reflectively, "it is strange. She is not a
brilliant woman, she is not even an intellectual one; but there is such
a thing as a genius for affection, and she has it. It has been good for
her husband that he married her." In the sphere of home the graces of
gentleness, of patience, of generosity, are far more valuable than any
personal attractions or mental gifts and accomplishments. They
contribute more to happiness and are the source of sympathy and
spiritual discernment. For does not the woman who can love see more and
understand more than the most intellectual woman who has no heart?
A vacancy in the floor sweeping department of a public institution
having been advertised, the testimonials to the intellectual and moral
eminence of an old woman were overwhelming; but after the election it
appeared she had only one arm! Not less unfitted to be a wife is the
woman who, with every other qualification, has no genius for affection.
Dress is one of the little things that indicate character. A refined
woman will always look neat; but, on the other hand, she will not
bedizen and bedeck herself with a view to display. Again, there is no
condition of life in which industry in a wife is not necessary to the
happiness of a family. A lazy mistress makes lazy servants, and, what is
worse, a lazy mother makes lazy children.
"But how," asks Cobbett, "is the purblind lover to ascertain whether
she, whose smiles have bereft him of his senses--how is he to judge
whether the beloved object will be industrious or lazy?" In answer to
this question several outward and visible signs are suggested, such as
early rising, a lively, distinct utterance, a quick step, "the labours
of the teeth; for these correspond with those of the other members of
the body, and with the operations of the mind."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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