How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to MarriageHardy, E. J. (Edward John)
General
How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to Marriage
Hardy, E. J. (Edward John)
Marriage
We are aware that it will provoke laughter to hint that for the proper
bringing up of children a knowledge of the elementary principles of
physiology, psychology, and ethics are indispensable. May we not,
however, hold up this ideal of Mr. Herbert Spencer to ourselves and to
others? "Here are," he says, "the indisputable facts: that the
development of children in mind and body follows certain laws; that
unless these laws are in some degree conformed to by parents, death is
inevitable; that unless they are in a great degree conformed to, there
must result serious physical and mental defects, and that only when they
are completely conformed to can a perfect maturity be reached. Judge,
then, whether all who may one day be parents should not strive with some
anxiety to learn what these laws are." "I was not brought up, but
dragged up," said the poor girl in the tale; and she touched
unconsciously the root of nine-tenths of the vice and misery of the
world.
Great as is the importance of some information, if children are to be
properly reared, still knowledge is by no means all that preparation for
parenthood should include. While Doctor Johnson was musing over the fire
one evening in Thrale's drawing-room, a young gentleman suddenly, and,
as Johnson seems to have fancied, somewhat disrespectfully, called to
him: "Mr. Johnson, would you advise me to marry?" _Johnson_ (angrily):
"Sir, I would advise no man to marry who is not likely to propagate
understanding."
Would the doctor have extended this restriction to all men and women who
are not likely to propagate good bodies and souls? We know that there
are people whose misfortunes and vices will spoil and ruin, not merely
the lives of those they marry, but the lives of their children too. The
miserable inheritance of their imperfections will be transmitted to
coming generations. If it were only possible to keep all these people
single, those who will be living thirty years hence would be living in a
very different world from this.
The only restriction public opinion now puts to any marriage is that it
should not be forbidden by the "Table of Kindred and Affinity" contained
in the Prayer Book. When will all improvident marriages be equally
illegal? When will scrofula, madness, drunkenness, or even bad temper
and excessive selfishness be considered as just causes and impediments
why parties should not be joined together in holy matrimony. Only the
best men and women of this generation--could these be discovered--should
become the parents of the next.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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