How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to MarriageHardy, E. J. (Edward John)
General
How to be Happy Though Married: Being a Handbook to Marriage
Hardy, E. J. (Edward John)
Marriage
It has been flippantly asked why we should consult the interests of the
next generation since the next generation has done nothing for us. The
answer is plain. We have no right to bequeath to it an heritage of woe.
Every man and woman can do much to make themselves worthy of the honour
and responsibility of being a parent. Let them preserve their health,
cultivate their social affections, and, above all, abstain from those
sins which science and bitter experience assure us are visited on
children. It is only when they do this that a new edition of themselves
is called for.
"Who is the happy husband? He
Who, scanning his unwedded life,
Thanks Heaven, with a conscience free,
'Twas faithful to his future wife."
And who are the happy parents? Those who, scanning their unwedded lives,
thank Heaven they were faithful to future children.
It is to be hoped that few men now are as careless or as ignorant of
consequences to children as was Mr. Tulliver in George Eliot's "Mill on
the Floss," when he picked his wife from her sisters "o' purpose, 'cause
she was a bit weak, like." We have come to see that, in order to be good
mothers, women must be very unlike Mrs. Pullet in the same story, who
was bent on proving her gentility and wealth by the delicacy of her
health, and the quantity of doctor's stuff she could afford to imbibe.
But parents have not altogether given up sacrificing their own health
and the health of their children to the Moloch of fashion. They have not
quite ceased to burn incense to vanity. We have still to complain, as
did Frances Kemble, that the race is ruined for the sake of fashion. "I
cannot believe that women were intended to suffer as much as they do,
and be as helpless as they are, in child-bearing; but rather that both
are the consequences of our many and various abuses of our constitutions
and infractions of God's natural laws. Tight stays, tight garters, tight
shoes, and similar concessions to the vagaries of feminine fashion, are
accountable for many of the ills that afflict both mother and child."
When King David was forbidden to build a temple for God's service
because he had shed blood abundantly, with noble self-forgetfulness he
laid up before his death materials with which Solomon his son might have
the honour of building it. If parents would imitate his example and lay
up the materials of good character and health, what glorious temples
they might erect to God in the bodies, minds, and souls of their
children!
CHAPTER XVI.
"WHAT IS THE USE OF A CHILD."
"A dreary place would be this earth
Were there no little people in it;
The song of life would lose its mirth
Were there no children to begin it.
"No babe within our arms to leap,
No little feet toward slumber tending;
No little knee in prayer to bend,
Our lips the sweet words lending.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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