As Geoffrey Mortimer has well shown, love among cultured people is
largely dependent upon the imagination. In savages and in the human
race, primarily, when at this period of their existence, it took the
form of hedonism, or even the more gross sex-worship, and it was not
until mankind was removed far from the brute that his imagination
developed, and his mind was capable of abstract thought, that his
æsthetic nature began to develop. As his intellect became more
profound, and his mental range wider, his power of abstract thinking
was accordingly augmented, until to-day, with the average human
being, love is only, in a restricted sense, dependent upon physical
gratification. Herbert Spencer has given a very sure test of love,
based upon its dependence upon the imaginative faculty. According to
him, when we are absent from the one we love, the mental picture
which we form of her, and the attributes which we at that time give
her, are all found in her when in her actual presence. Then, we are
really in love with the person whose faults we cannot see. The truth
of the old adage, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," still further
shows the part which the imagination plays in love. There is no human
being who has been so fortunate as to marry the first object upon
which his affections settled, providing, of course, that his previous
life has been spent so that he can enter into this relationship
equitably, who did not find that if his love was reciprocated, life
possessed a transcendent charm which words cannot express. Such an
affection is necessarily based upon a most profound respect, and can
only continue when this deferential regard exists. While feeling a
security in its sense of ownership of the one loved, yet it asks and
demands nothing, and can only bud, blossom, and ripen into its fullness
in the atmosphere of kindness and absolute liberty. While sensual
gratification, in the earlier stages, has been the means of nature
in perpetuating the species, it is also the most powerful factor in
the evolution of that community of interest which is the very soul of
this attachment. The infinite number of little incidents which are
never to be forgotten by any real lover, are all of a purely physical
nature, but, in the aggregate, they form the nucleus of that "amazement
of love and friendship and intimacy" which is like the melodious
harmony of the sweetest sounds, which lead us into an ecstasy in every
way supersensual. It is in the realization of such delight that Gay
remarks, "Not to know love, is not to live."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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