[Illustration: “_Perfeck Lidy_” (_who has just been ejected_). “Well, _next_ time I goes into a Publickouse, I’ll go somewhere where I’ll be _respected_!”] [Illustration: A YORKSHIRE GOSSIP. _First Gossip_. “So you was nivver axed tut Funeral?” _Second Gossip_. “Nivver as much as inside t’house. But nobbut wait till _we_ hev’ a Funeral of us own, an’ _we_’ll show ’em!”] [Illustration: SO THAT DOESN’T COUNT. “Are you sure they’re quite Fresh?” “Wot a Question to arst! Can’t yer see they’re Alive?” “Yes; but you’re _Alive_, you know!”] [Illustration: A SUNDAY DINNER. _Father of Family_ (_who has accidentally shot the leg of a Fowl under the table_). “Mind t’Dog doesn’t get it!” _Young Hopeful_ (_triumphantly_). “All right, Feyther! I’ve gotten me Foot on it!”] [Illustration: _Workman_ (_politely, to old Lady, who has accidentally got into the Smoking Compartment_). “You don’ object to my Pipe, I ’ope Mum?” _Old Lady_. “Yes, I _do_ object, very strongly!” _Workman_. “Oh! Then out you get!!”] [Illustration: REASSURING. “Lor’ bless yer, Sir, that’s all right, Sir! _That_ ain’t a Fly, Sir! _That’s_ a bit of Dirt!”] [Illustration: PICKINGS FROM PICARDY. After the Procession. A Solo by Grand-père.] [Illustration: MUCH ADO. “Mumma-a-a! Boo-hoo! We’s crying! Tum up ’tairs an’ see what’s de matter wiv us!”] [Illustration: A SKETCH FROM LIFE. _Chorus_ (_slow music_). “We’ve a rare old--fair old--rickety Crew!”] [Illustration: “_Are_ you comin’ ’ome?” “I’ll do ellythik you _like_ in reasol, M’ria--(_hic_)--Bur I _won’t_ come ’ome.”] [Illustration: _Importunate Street Urchin_ (_for the tenth time_). “Gi’ us a Copper. Sir! Gi’ us a Copper!” _Testy Individual_ (_losing patience_). “Oh, go to”--(substitutes a milder form)--“blazes!” _Street Urchin_. “Sure thin an’ I would in this bastly could weather, if I was only certain o’ comin’ back again!” [_Individual’s testiness overcome and Urchin rewarded_.]] [Illustration: “NICE FOR THE VISITORS.” (_Sketch Outisde a Fashionable Hotel_.)] [Illustration: _Coster_ (_to acquaintance, who has been away for some months_). “Wot are yer bin doin’ all this time?” _Bill Robbins_ (_who has been “doing time”_). “Oh, I’ve bin Wheelin’ a bit, Ole Man--Wheelin’ a bit!”] [Illustration: THE GREAT PRIZE FIGHT. _Johnnie_ (_who finds that his Box, £20, has been appropriated by “the Fancy”_). “I beg your pardon, but this is _my_ Box!” _Bill Basford_. “Oh, is it? Well, why don’t you tike it?”] [Illustration: _Fussy Old Lady_. “Now _don’t_ forget, Conductor. I _want the Bank of England_.” _Conductor_. “_All_ right, Mum.” (_Aside_.) “She _don’t_ want _much_, do she, Mate?”] [Illustration: INFORMATION. _First ’Arry_ (_with newspaper_). “I say, ’Arry, you’se a Toff. What’s a ‘Collar Day’ at Court?” _Second ’Arry_. “Donno ’xactly. Suppose it’s a Saturday when things come ’ome from the Wash.” _First ’Arry_. “Oh, I see--‘Clean Collar Day’!”]