Humorous Masterpieces from American Literature — John Shaqi
Humorous Masterpieces from American Literature
General
Humorous Masterpieces from American Literature
American wit and humor
Pigs also possessed attractions for me, never having had an opportunity
of observing their graces of mind and manner, till I came to Washington,
whose porcine citizens appeared to enjoy a larger liberty than many of
its human ones. Stout, sedate-looking pigs, hurried by each morning to
their places of business, with a preoccupied air, and sonorous greeting
to their friends. Genteel pigs, with an extra curl to their tails,
promenaded in pairs, lunching here and there, like gentlemen of leisure.
Rowdy pigs pushed the passers-by off the sidewalk; tipsy pigs hiccoughed
their version of "We won't go home till morning," from the gutter; and
delicate young pigs tripped daintily through the mud, as if they plumed
themselves upon their ankles, and kept themselves particularly neat in
point of stockings. Maternal pigs, with their interesting families,
strolled by in the sun; and often the pink, baby-like squealers lay
down for a nap, with a trust in Providence worthy of human
imitation.--_Hospital Sketches_.
SELECTIONS FROM TRANSCENDENTAL WILD OATS.
On the first day of June, 184-, a large wagon, drawn by a small horse,
and containing a motley load, went lumbering over certain New England
hills, with the pleasing accompaniments of wind, rain, and hail. A
serene man with a serene child upon his knee was driving, or rather
being driven, for the small horse had it all his own way. A brown boy
with a William Penn style of countenance sat beside him, firmly
embracing a bust of Socrates. Behind them was an energetic-looking
woman, with a benevolent brow, satirical mouth, and eyes brimful of hope
and courage. A baby reposed upon her lap, a mirror leaned against her
knee, and a basket of provisions danced about at her feet, as she
struggled with a large, unruly umbrella. Two blue-eyed little girls,
with hands full of childish treasures, sat under one old shawl, chatting
happily together.
In front of this lively party stalked a tall, sharp-featured man, in a
long blue cloak; and a fourth small girl trudged along beside him
through the mud as if she rather enjoyed it.
The wind whistled over the bleak hills; the rain fell in a despondent
drizzle, and twilight began to fall. But the calm man gazed as
tranquilly into the fog as if he beheld a radiant bow of promise
spanning the gray sky. The cheery woman tried to cover every one but
herself with the big umbrella. The brown boy pillowed his head on the
bald pate of Socrates and slumbered peacefully. The little girls sang
lullabies to their dolls in soft, maternal murmers. The sharp-nosed
pedestrian marched steadily on, with the blue cloak streaming out behind
him like a banner; and the lively infant splashed through the puddles
with a duck-like satisfaction pleasant to behold.
Thus these modern pilgrims journeyed hopefully out of the old world, to
found a new one in the wilderness.
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