English literature -- Early modern, 1500-1700; English wit and humor; Great Britain -- Civilization -- 17th century -- Literary collections
One that had lived long by lewdest shifts, [6.]
Brought to the Court that Corne from Cockle[F. 14] sifts
Adiudged, first to lye a yeere in fetters,
Then burned in his forhead with two letters,
And to disparage him with more disgrace,
To slit his nose, the figure of his face.
The prisoners wife with no dishonest mind,
To shew herselfe unto her husband kind,
Sued humbly to the Lords, and would not cease,
Some part of this sharp rigour to release.
He was a man (she said) had serv'd in Warre,
What mercy would a Souldiers face so marre.
Thus much said she, but gravely they replied,
It was great mercy that he thus was tried:
His crimes deserve he should have lost his life,
And hang in chaines; Alas, reply'd the wife,
If you disgrace him thus, you quite undo him,
Good my Lords, hang him, pray be good unto him.
[Footnote 14: The _Agrostemna githago_, Linn.]
[1.] There were once too men that were both masterless and moneyless,
& one said to the other, What remedy canst thou now find out, that we
may either get some meat or money? By my troth (qd. the other) I do
know a very fine shift, (& being very early in the morning they espyed
a man coming with Hogs). Lo, yonder cometh a man with Hogs, and I will
tell him that they be sheep, and I will cause him to lay a Wager with
me, whether they be Sheep or Hogs: & I will cause the matter to be
judged by the next man that cometh, but then thou must go another way
& meet with us; when we demand of thee whether they be sheep or hogs,
thou must say that they be sheep. Then they separated themselves the
one from the other, and the one went to meet the man that had the
Swine, bidding him good morrow; the man doing the like to him again.
Then he said to the old man, Father, where had you your fair sheep.
What sheep qd the man; these sheep that you drive before you: Why, qd
the old man, they are swine. What (qd. the other) will you make me a
fool? think you I know not Sheep from Swine? Marry (qd. the old man)
I will lay one of my Swine against what thou wilt, that they be no
Sheep. I hold thee my coat against one of thy sheep qd. the other. I
am content qd the old man, by whom shall we be tryed? By the next man
that meets us. Content, said the old man; and then they perceived the
man coming being the fellow of the young man. And when he came to them
the old man requested him to tel them what beasts those were? Why (qd.
he) they be sheep, do you not know sheep? I told him so (qd. the other
young man) but he would not believe me, so I laid my Coat upon a Wager
that they were sheep, and he laid me one of his sheep against my Coat
that they were Swine; and I won it have I not? Yea (qd. the old man,)
but God help me, I bought them for Swine. And then the young man took
one of the fattest hogs he could find amongst them all, & carryed him
away, and his fellow went another way, as though he had not known
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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