English literature -- Early modern, 1500-1700; English wit and humor; Great Britain -- Civilization -- 17th century -- Literary collections
[93.] _George_ (_Peele_) lying at an old Widdowes house, and had gone
on so farre on the Score, that his credit would stretch no further:
for she had made a vow not to depart with drinke or victuals without
ready money. Which _George_ seeing the fury of his froward Hostis, in
griefe kept his Chamber; called to his Hostis and told her, she
should understand that he was not without money, how poorely soever he
appeared to her, and that my diet shall testifie: in the meane time,
good Hostis, quoth he, send for such a friend of mine. Shee did:
so his friend came: to whom _George_ imparted his mind; the effect
whereof was this, to pawne his Cloake, Hose and Doublet, unknowne
to his Hostis: for, quoth _George_ this seven nights doe I intend to
keepe my bed. (Truly hee spake, for his intent was that the bed
should not keepe him any longer). Away goes he to pawne his apparell;
_George_ bespeakes good cheere to supper, which was no shamble butcher
stuffe, but according to the place; for, his Chamber being remote
from the house, at the end of the Garden, his apparell being gone, it
appeared to him as the Counter; therefore to comfort himselfe he dealt
in Poultrie. His friend brought the money, supped with him: his Hostis
hee very liberally payed, but cavelled with her at her unkindnesse:
vowing that while he lay there, none should attend him but his friend.
The Hostis reply'd, A God's name, she was well contented with it: so
was _George_ too: for none knew better than himselfe what he intended;
but in briefe thus he used his kinde Hostis. After his Apparell and
Money was gone, hee made bolde with the feather bed hee lay on, which
his friend-ship convey'd away, having as villanous a Wolfe in his
belly as _George_, though not altogether so wise; for that feather
bed they devoured in two daies, feathers and all, which was no sooner
digested, but away went the Coverlet, Sheetes and the Blancket; and at
the last dinner, when _George's_ good friend perceiving nothing left
but the bed-cords, as the Devill would have it, straight came into his
mind the fashion of a halter; the foolish kind knave would needs fetch
a quart of sacke for his friend _George_; which Sacke to this day
never saw Vintners Cellar; and so he left _George_ in a cold chamber,
a thin shirt, a ravished bed, no comfort left him, but the bare bones
of deceased Capons. In this distresse, George bethought him what he
might doe; nothing was left him; and as his eye wandred up and downe
the empty Chamber, by chance he spied out an old Armour; at which
sight George was the joyfullest man in Christendome; for the Armour of
Achilles, that Ulysses and Ajax strove for, was not more precious to
them, than this to him: for hee presently claps it upon his backe, the
Halbert in his hand, the Moryon on his head, and so gets out the backe
way, marches from Shorditch to Clarkenwell, to the no small wonder of
those spectators that beheld him. Being arrived to the wished haven
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