A Taylor thought a man of upright dealing, [16.] True, but for lying, honest but for stealing, Did fall one day extreamly sicke by chance, And on the sudden was in wondrous trance. The Fiends of hell mustring in fearfull manner, Of Sundry Coloured silkes displayed a Banner, Which he had stolne, and wish't as they did tell That one day he might finde it all in hell. The man affrighted at this apparition Upon recovery grew a great Precisian. He bought a Bible of the new Translation, And in his life he shew'd great reformation; He walked mannerly, and talked meekely, He heard three Lectures, and two Sermons weekely: He vowed to shunne all companies unruly, And in his speech he used none oath, but truly. And zealously to keepe the Sabboths rest, His meat for that day, on the e've was drest, And least the custome that he had to steale, Might cause him sometime to forget his zeale, He gives his journeyman a speciall charge, That if the stuffe allow'd fell out too large, And that to filch his fingers were inclin'd, He then should put the Banner in his minde. This done, I scant can tell the rest for laughter, A Captaine of a ship came three daies after, And brought three yards of Velvet, and three Quarters To make Venetians[F. 24] down below the garters. He that precisely knew what was enuffe, Soone slipt away three quarters of the stuffe. His man espying it, said in derision, Remember, Master, how you saw the vision. Peace (knave) quoth he, I did not see one ragge Of such a coloured silke in all the flagge. [Footnote 24: Trunk hose.] [8.] A Notorious Rogue being brought to the Bar, and knowing his case to be desperate, instead of pleading, he took to himself the liberty of jesting, and thus said, _I charge you in the Kings name to seise and take away that man_ (meaning the Judge) _in the red Gown, for I go in danger of my life because of him_. _On a gentleman that married an heire privately at the Tower._ The angry Father hearing that his childe [5.] Was stoln, married, and his hopes beguild; ('Cause his usurious nature had a thought She might have bin to greater fortunes brought:) With rigid looks, bent brows, and words austere, Ask'd his forc'd son in law how he did dare Thus beare his onely daughter to be married; And by what Cannons he assumed such power? He sayd, the best in England, sir, the Tower. _Of_ Galla's _goodly Periwigge_. You see the goodly hayre that _Galla_ weares, [16.] 'Tis certain her own hayr, who would have thought it? She sweares it is her owne; and true she sweares, For hard by Temple-barre last day she bought it. So faire a haire, upon so foule a forehead, Augments disgrace, and showes the grace is borrow'd.