When the Bottle and Jack stands together, O fie on't, The Bottle looks just like a dwarfe to a Gyant; Then had we not reason Jacks to chuse For this'l make Boots, when the Bottle mends shoes. _And I wish &c._ And as for the bottle you never can fill it Without a Tunnell, but you must spill it, 'Tis as hard to get in, as it is to get out, 'Tis not so with a Jack, for it runs like a spout. _And I wish &c._ And when we have drank out all our store, The Jack goes for Barme to brew us some more; And when our Stomacks with hunger have bled, Then it marches for more to make us some bread. _And I wish &c._ I now will cease to speak of the Jack, But hope his assistance I never shall lack, And I hope that now every honest man, Instead of Jack will y'clip him John. And I wish &c. [Footnote 28: A bottle made of leather. Sometimes they were ornamented with silver rims, and a silver plate with the owner's coat of arms thereon; but generally they were very rough.] [18.] A melting Sermon being preached in a Country Church, all fell a weeping, except a Country man, who being ask'd why he did not weep with the rest? _Because_ (says he) _I am not of this Parish_. [18.] A Country-man admiring the stately Fabrick of S. _Pauls_ Cathedral, asked _Whether it was made in_ England, _or brought from beyond Sea_. The invincible PRIDE of WOMEN or The _London_ Tradesman's Lamentation For the Prodigality of his Wife, which doth daily pillage his Purse. To the Tune of the _Spinning Wheel_. Licensed according to orders. I have a Wife, the mores my Care, [20.] who like a gaudy Peacock goes, In Top Knots, Patches, Powder'd Hair, besides she is the worst of shrows; This fills my Heart with grief and care To think I must this burthen bear. It is her forecast to Contrive to rise about the hour of Noon, And, if she's Trimm'd and Rigg'd by Five why this I count is very soon: Then goes she to a Ball or Play To pass the pleasant night away. And when she home returns again conducted by a Bully Spark, If that I in the least complain, she does my words and actions mark: And does likewise my Gullet tear, Then roars like Thunder in the Air. I never had a Groat with her most solemnly I here declare, Yet she's as proud as_ Lucifer_, and cannot study what to wear: In sumptuous Robes she still appears While I am forc'd to hide my Ears. The lofty Top Knots on her Crown, with which she sails abroad withal, Makes me with Care alas! look down, as having now no hope at all: That ever I shall happy be In such a flaunting Wife as she. [Illustration] In debt with ev'ry Shop she runs for to appear in gaudy Pride, And when the Millener she duns, I then am forc'd my Head to hide: Dear Friends, this proud imperious Wife She makes me weary of my Life.