Fragments of the teachings of my childhood ran through my memory. The
rhythmical sound of Biblical language sang in my ears, and I talked
quite softly to myself, and held my head sneeringly askew. Wherefore
should I sorrow for what I eat, for what I drink, or for what I may
array this miserable food for worms called my earthy body? Hath not my
Heavenly Father provided for me, even as for the sparrow on the
housetop, and hath He not in His graciousness pointed towards His lowly
servitor? The Lord stuck His finger in the net of my nerves
gently--yea, verily, in desultory fashion--and brought slight disorder
among the threads. And then the Lord withdrew His finger, and there
were fibres and delicate root-like filaments adhering to the finger,
and they were the nerve-threads of the filaments. And there was a
gaping hole after the finger, which was God's finger, and a wound in my
brain in the track of His finger. But when God had touched me with His
finger, He let me be, and touched me no more, and let no evil befall
me; but let me depart in peace, and let me depart with the gaping hole.
And no evil hath befallen me from the God who is the Lord God of all
Eternity.
The sound of music was borne up on the wind to me from the Students'
Allée. It was therefore past two o'clock. I took out my writing
materials to try to write something, and at the same time my book of
shaving-tickets [Footnote: Issued by the barbers at cheaper rates, as
few men in Norway shave themselves.] fell out of my pocket. I opened
it, and counted the tickets; there were six. "The Lord be praised," I
exclaimed involuntarily; "I can still get shaved for a couple of weeks,
and look a little decent"; and I immediately fell into a better frame
of mind on account of this little property which still remained to me.
I smoothed the leaves out carefully, and put the book safely into my
pocket.
But write I could not. After a few lines nothing seemed to occur to me;
my thought ran in other directions, and I could not pull myself
together enough for any special exertion.
Everything influenced and distracted me; everything I saw made a fresh
impression on me. Flies and tiny mosquitoes stick fast to the paper and
disturb me. I blow at them to get rid of them--blow harder and harder;
to no purpose, the little pests throw themselves on their backs, make
themselves heavy, and fight against me until their slender legs bend.
They are not to be moved from the spot; they find something to hook on
to, set their heels against a comma or an unevenness in the paper, or
stand immovably still until they themselves think fit to go their way.
These insects continued to busy me for a long time, and I crossed my
legs to observe them at leisure. All at once a couple of high clarionet
notes waved up to me from the bandstand, and gave my thoughts a new
impulse.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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