Husbandry: Deep Waters, Part 6.Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Husbandry: Deep Waters, Part 6.
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction
I 'eld my breath. Five sailormen out of ten have been tattooed with
mermaids, and I was one of 'em. When she spoke agin I thought I should
ha' dropped.
"On 'is right arm," she ses, "unless he's 'ad it rubbed off."
"You can't rub out tattoo marks," ses the skipper.
They all stood looking at me as if they was waiting for something. I
folded my arms--tight--and stared back at 'em.
"If you ain't this lady's 'usband," ses the skipper, turning to me, "you
can take off your coat and prove it."
"And if you don't we'll take it off for you," ses the carman, coming a
bit closer.
Arter that things 'appened so quick, I hardly knew whether I was standing
on my 'cad or my heels. Both, I think. They was all on top o' me at
once, and the next thing I can remember is sitting on the ground in my
shirt-sleeves listening to the potman, who was making a fearful fuss
because somebody 'ad bit his ear 'arf off. My coat was ripped up the
back, and one of the draymen was holding up my arm and showing them all
the mermaid, while the other struck matches so as they could see better."
"That's your 'usband right enough," he ses to the woman. "Take 'im."
"P'raps she'll carry 'im 'ome," I ses, very fierce and sarcastic.
"And we don't want none of your lip," ses the carman, who was in a bad
temper because he 'ad got a fearful kick on the shin from somewhere.
I got up very slow and began to put my coat on again, and twice I 'ad to
tell that silly woman that when I wanted her 'elp I'd let 'er know. Then
I 'eard slow, heavy footsteps in the road outside, and, afore any of 'em
could stop me, I was calling for the police.
I don't like policemen as a rule; they're too inquisitive, but when the
wicket was pushed open and I saw a face with a helmet on it peeping in, I
felt quite a liking for 'em.
"Wot's up?" ses the policeman, staring 'ard at my little party.
They all started telling 'im at once, and I should think if the potman
showed him 'is ear once he showed it to 'im twenty times. He lost his
temper and pushed it away at last, and the potman gave a 'owl that set my
teeth on edge. I waited till they was all finished, and the policeman
trying to get 'is hearing back, and then I spoke up in a quiet way and
told 'im to clear them all off of my wharf.
"They're trespassing," I ses, "all except the skipper and mate here.
They belong to a little wash-tub that's laying alongside, and they're
both as 'armless as they look."
It's wonderful wot a uniform will do. The policeman just jerked his 'ead
and said "out-side," and the men went out like a flock of sheep. The
on'y man that said a word was the carman, who was in such a hurry that 'e
knocked his bad shin against my foot as 'e went by. The thin little
woman was passed out by the policeman in the middle of a speech she was
making, and he was just going for the other, when the skipper stopped
'im.
"This lady is coming on my ship," he ses, puffing out 'is chest.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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