"I'll Leave It To You": A Light Comedy In Three ActsCoward, Noël
General
"I'll Leave It To You": A Light Comedy In Three Acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; Inheritance and succession -- Drama
BOBBIE. I mean that you wouldn't understand unless you felt like I do.
Oh, I don't know how to put it--but do you?
FAITH (_coyly_). Do I what? (_Sits_ L. _of Chesterfield._)
BOBBIE (_by armchair--desperately_). Feel as if you could ever
care--even a little bit--for me?
FAITH. I haven't tried yet.
BOBBIE. Well, will you try?
FAITH. I must ask mother.
BOBBIE (_in anguish--moving slightly_ C.). Ask mother! But that's no
use. Why, my mother could never make me care for someone I didn't want
to, or not care for some one I did. Don't you see what I mean. If you
are ever going to care for me you will have to do it on your own. Love
isn't a thing to be ordered about at will. Love is wonderful--glorious,
but above all, it's individual--you can't guide it. Why, you might fall
in love with a taxi driver or a dope fiend----
FAITH. Mother would never allow me to _know_ a dope fiend.
BOBBIE (L. _of Chesterfield--firmly_). But if you _did_, your mother's
opinion wouldn't have any effect at all--not if you had it in your
heart--really and truly.
FAITH. Mother's disapproval might stop me falling in love.
BOBBIE. No, it mightn't--nothing could stop it. On the contrary it would
probably strengthen it; opposition always does.
FAITH (_doubtfully_). Do you think so?
BOBBIE. I'm sure of it, but anyhow, I'm going to tell you something.
(MRS. DERMOTT _appears at window_ L.C. _with telegram._)
MRS. DERMOTT. Bobbie, darling----
BOBBIE (_irritably_). What is it, mother? (_Goes up to window._)
(FAITH _powders her nose, etc._)
MRS. DERMOTT. I've just received the oddest telegram. We met the boy in
the drive. Do listen, I can't understand it. (_She reads._) "Come to
lunch Monday and discuss Royalties--Claverton." What _does_ it all mean?
BOBBIE. It's not for you, it's for Vangy. Claverton's her publisher.
MRS. DERMOTT. What on earth do they want to discuss Royalties for. It
sounds _so_ snobbish.
BOBBIE (_laughing_). Mother, at times you're inimitable. Royalties means
money, so much per cent., you know. We've explained it heaps of times.
MRS. DERMOTT. Of course, dear, how stupid of me; but still it is very
muddling, when they call things by fancy names like that. Put it on the
mantelpiece and give it to Vangy when she comes in.
(_She disappears._)
BOBBIE. Mother never will grasp the smallest technicality.
(_Coming down to fireplace, he puts the telegram on the mantelpiece._)
FAITH. You were going to tell me something.
BOBBIE. Yes, I know something that will banish your mother's disapproval
altogether....
FAITH. She hasn't disapproved yet. I only said she might.
BOBBIE. Well, she's pretty certain to want you to make a good match. I
know what mothers are, they all do. I'm not a good match I know, but
what she doesn't know is that I have wonderful prospects.
FAITH (_with interest_). Have you?
BOBBIE. I should never have proposed to you, otherwise.
FAITH. Well, you haven't proposed properly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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