"I'll Leave It To You": A Light Comedy In Three ActsCoward, Noël
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"I'll Leave It To You": A Light Comedy In Three Acts
Coward, Noël
Comedy plays; Inheritance and succession -- Drama
BOBBIE. Is everything you do your mother's affair? Does she count every
breath you take? Why, your life simply can't be worth living!
FAITH. I wish I could make you see....
BOBBIE (_in a lower register_). I'm afraid you've made me see too much.
I didn't know people could be so callous and cruel....
FAITH (_quickly_). I'm not callous and cruel.
BOBBIE. Oh yes, you are, and you've made me determine one thing, and
that is that henceforth I honestly mean to cut women out of my life for
ever. (_A move from_ FAITH.) I know it's a hackneyed thing to say, but I
mean it. I ought to have taken a lesson from other fellows'
experiences, but of course I didn't.
FAITH. I think you're very silly and childish to be so bitter.
BOBBIE. Bitter! (_Laughs satirically._) What else could I be? The one
girl whom I cared for and trusted has gaily thrown me over the first
moment she hears that I am not going to have as much money as she
thought. I'm losing my temper now, and I'm glad of it. I shall probably
repent every word I say afterwards, but that won't stop me telling you
exactly what I think of you. I don't suppose you've ever been in love at
all--except to the extent of having signed photographs of Owen Nares and
Henry Ainley stuck all over your bedroom, but when you do, I hope you
get it really badly, you deserve to be absolutely utterly wretched, as
wretched as you've made me, and I hope when you do marry that you get a
rotten old Scotch marmalade maker who says "Hoots!" and spills haggis
all down his waistcoat.
FAITH (_bursting into tears_). Oh, Bobbie, how dare you....
(_goes to her and goes down on his knees_)
BOBBIE. Oh, Faith darling, forgive me, I didn't mean a word of it--I
swear I didn't....
FAITH (_they both rise_). Whether you meant it or not I hate you.
(_Pushes him away._) You're blatant and beastly, and I never wish to see
you again. (_She walks upstairs and pauses._) I shall have breakfast in
my room. (_Exit._)
(BOBBIE _stamps out and collides with_ SYLVIA, _who is coming in with
a bunch of freshly picked flowers._)
BOBBIE. Why can't you look where you're going?
(_He stamps out of sight._)
SYLVIA. Nice sweet-tempered little fellow. (_Moves to above table; puts
roses in bowl. Takes "Daily Mirror" from window-seat, goes down to
Chesterfield and reads it._)
(_Enter_ DANIEL _downstairs with bag. He comes very quietly and
doesn't see_ SYLVIA. _He stumbles and_ SYLVIA _watches him._)
SYLVIA (_suddenly_). Excuse me! Have you been stealing any thing.
DANIEL (_putting down bag_). Damn! I didn't want any one to see me.
SYLVIA. Where were you going?
DANIEL(_coming_ R.C.). To the _Green Hart_. I couldn't face another meal
like dinner last night.
SYLVIA. I know it was pretty awful, but you can't go out of the house
like this. Mother'd be furious.
DANIEL. One more wouldn't matter--everybody else is. (_Coming_ L.C.)
SYLVIA. I'm not a bit.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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