And then, after a while, I was awake, truly awake, and I knew this
because I ached and burned all over. I could scarcely move. I lay on
the tablelike thing and stared at the gleaming metal ceiling, not
really seeing it.
"How do you feel?" said somebody.
* * * * *
I turned my head. The somebody was sitting beside me. He was a man of
about fifty, thick-set and gray-haired with skin that looked like fine
porcelain. His eyes were blue and they seemed able, intelligent. He was
not exactly smiling, but his expression was pleasant. Poised--that was
the word. Here was a man who would quietly control things wherever he
would go.
I said, "Lousy. And you?"
Ghost of a smile. "Sorry you had to go through it. We pick the Deacons
because they're sadistically inclined. That makes for efficiency in the
long run. Some people suffer, of course, but it's for the common good."
I didn't say anything. If I had, it would have been insulting,
unreasonable, blasphemous, obscene and treasonable. So I didn't say
anything. I just kept staring at him.
He continued to smile. "I'm N-J-K-F one seven seven three four nine,
Chief of the Office of Psychological Adjustment. I'm usually simply
Chief. I want you to consider me your friend--within the limits of
State good, that is."
I still didn't say anything.
"Yours is quite a case, and of course I understand it. I think I had
a quick insight into it the moment I spotted the arrest report on
you. You're really lucky I happened to go through the arrest reports
a little while ago, and got to you before the three Deacons who
interviewed you returned. They were going to interview you some more."
"Yes. I'm very lucky." My voice was flat, lifeless.
He leaned back easily in the chair. For all that he was thick-set, he
was graceful. He was handsome. His head, and deep, pleasant voice, and
the cut of his porcelain features all were handsome. Trust in me,
said this handsomeness, I am a father to all men.
"Naturally, we want to excuse your actions, and all the infractions
you have committed in your rather desperate struggle for escape from
your situation. Of course we'll have to re-evaluate your Emotional
Adjustment Category. It must be very low by now. And I think I'll be
able to assign a new name to you, and have it justify."
Funny, here was the thing I'd sought and fought for, and now I had it,
and this was the end of the long fight, and I didn't feel triumphant at
all. I didn't even feel pleased. Funny.
The chief said, "You can undoubtedly find a post suitable to a lower
E.A.C. You can work your way up again. At least you'll be on productive
status and have all the privileges that go with it."
"Yes," I said. "Yes, I suppose so."
"So there's really nothing to worry about now, is there?"
"No, I suppose not."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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