"I do not know whether it be worth while to tell what followed, for it
was very ridiculous; but I shall venture at it, for as it is not foreign
to this matter, so some good use may be made of it. There was a jester
standing by, that counterfeited the fool so naturally, that he seemed to
be really one. The jests which he offered were so cold and dull, that we
laughed more at him than at them; yet sometimes he said, as it were by
chance, things that were not unpleasant; so as to justify the old
proverb, 'That he who throws the dice often, will sometimes have a lucky
hit.' When one of the company had said, that I had taken care of the
thieves, and the Cardinal had taken care of the vagabonds, so that there
remained nothing but that some public provision might be made for the
poor, whom sickness or old age had disabled from labour. 'Leave that to
me,' said the fool, 'and I shall take care of them; for there is no
sort of people whose sight I abhor more, having been so often vexed
with them, and with their sad complaints; but as dolefully soever as
they have told their tale, they could never prevail so far as to draw
one penny from me: for either I had no mind to give them anything, or
when I had a mind to do it, I had nothing to give them: and they now
know me so well, that they will not lose their labour, but let me pass
without giving me any trouble, because they hope for nothing, no more in
faith than if I were a priest: but I would have a law made, for sending
all these beggars to monasteries, the men to the Benedictines to be made
lay-brothers, and the women to be nuns.' The Cardinal smiled, and
approved of it in jest; but the rest liked it in earnest. There was a
divine present, who though he was a grave morose man, yet he was so
pleased with this reflection that was made on the priests and the monks,
that he began to play with the fool, and said to him, 'This will not
deliver you from all beggars, except you take care of us friars.'--'That
is done already,' answered the fool, 'for the Cardinal has provided for
you, by what he proposed for restraining vagabonds, and setting them to
work, for I know no vagabonds like you.' This was well entertained by
the whole company, who looking at the Cardinal, perceived that he was
not ill pleased at it; only the friar himself was vexed, as may be
easily imagined, and fell into such a passion, that he could not forbear
railing at the fool, and calling him knave, slanderer, back-biter, and
son of perdition, and then cited some dreadful threatenings out of the
Scriptures against him. Now the jester thought he was in his element,
and laid about him freely. 'Good friar,' said he, 'be not angry, for it
is written, "In patience possess your soul."'--The friar answered (for I
shall give you his own words), 'I am not angry, you hangman; at least I
do not sin in it, for the Psalmist says, "Be ye angry, and sin
not."'--Upon this the Cardinal admonished him gently, and wished him to
govern his passions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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