Not long afterwards Mrs. Jervois wrote and told us she had entered the
Catholic Church. "I had, in fact, been received before I went to you,"
she confessed.
"There!" Ideala exclaimed. "It is just what I said. A want of common
honesty is a part of the religion; and you see she had begun to
practise it while she was here."
"What an eternal lie it is they preach when they tell us life is not
worth having," she said to me once, speaking of preachers generally. "I
have heard an oleosaccharine priest preach for an hour on this subject,
detailing the worthlessness of all earthly pleasures, with which he
seemed to be intimately acquainted--his appearance making one suspect
that he had not even yet exhausted them all himself--and giving a
florid account of the glories of the life to come, about which he
appeared to know as much but to care less; just as if heaven might not
begin on earth if only men would let it."
One day I had to warn her about acting so often on impulse. She heard
what I had to say very good-naturedly, and, after thinking about it for
a while, she said: "What a pity it is one never sees an impulse coming.
It is impossible to know whether they arise from below, or descend from
above. I always find if I act on one that it has arisen; and as surely
if I leave it alone it proves to have been a good opportunity lost. And
how curiously our thoughts go on, often so irrespective of ourselves. I
was in a Roman Catholic church the other day, and the priest--a friend
of mine, who looks like the last of the Mohicans minus the feathers in
his hair; but a good man, with nice, soft, velvety brown eyes--preached
most impressively. He told us that the Lord was there--there on that
very altar, ready to answer our prayers; and, oh dear! when I came to
think of it, there were so many of my prayers waiting to be answered! I
'felt like' presenting them all over again, it seemed such a good
opportunity. And then they sang the _O salutaris Hostia_ divinely--
so divinely that I thought if the Lord really had been there He would
certainly have made them sing it again--and I could not pray any more
after that. You call this rank irreverence, do you not? _I_ do.
And I wish I had not thought it. Yet it was one of those involuntary
tricks of the mind for which I cannot believe that we are to be held
responsible. Theologians would say it was a temptation of the devil,
but they are wrong. The first cause of these mental lapses is to be
found in some habit of levity, acquired young, and not easily got rid
of, but still not hopeless. But prevention is better than cure, and
children should be taught right-mindedness early. I wish I had been.
Happy is the child who is started in life with a set of fixed
principles, and the power to respect."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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