The summer weather had begun now. Laburnums and lilacs were in full
flower, the air was sweet with scent and song, and to one who had borne
the heavy winter with a heavy heart, but was able at last to lay down a
load of care, the transition must have been like a sudden change from
painful sickness to perfect health. Ideala went to the Great Hospital
at once. She had written to fix a day, and Lorrimer was waiting for
her. She was not taken to his room, however, as on the previous
occasion, but to another part of the building, a long gallery hung with
pictures, where she found him superintending the arrangement of some
precious things in cabinets. Ideala looked better and younger that day
in her summer dress than she had done in her heavy winter wraps on the
occasion of their first meeting; but when she found herself face to
face with Lorrimer she began to tremble, and was overcome with
nervousness in a way that was new to her. He saw the change in her
appearance and manner at a glance, and, smiling slightly, begged her to
follow him, and led the way through long passages and many doors,
passing numbers of people, to his own room. He spoke to her once or
twice on the way, but she was only able to answer confusedly, in a
voice that was rendered strident by the great effort she had to make to
control it. He busied himself with some papers for a few minutes when
they reached his room, to give her time to recover herself, and then he
said, standing with his back to the fireplace, looking down at her, and
speaking in a tone that was even more musical and caressing than she
remembered it: "Well, and how are you? And how has it been with you
since your return?"
"I am utterly shaken and unnerved, as you see," she answered; then
added passionately: "I cannot bear my life; it is too hateful."
"There is no need to bear it," he said. "Nothing is easier than to get
a separation after what has occurred. Was there any witness?"
"No; and I don't think any one in the house suspects that there is
anything wrong. And none of my friends know. I have never told them. I
wonder why I told you?"
"You wanted me to help you," he suggested.
"I don't think I did," she said. "How could I want you to help me when
I don't mean to do anything? I fancy I told you because I was afraid
you would think me a little mad that day, and I would rather you knew
the truth than think me mad. I don't mean to try for a separation. I
can't leave him entirely to his own devices. If I did, he would
certainly go from bad to worse."
"And if you don't what will become of you? I think much more of such a
life would make you reckless."
She was silent for a little, then she exclaimed: "Help me not to grow
reckless. I am so alone."
He took her hands and looked down into her eyes. A sudden deep flush
spread over his face, smoothing out all the lines, as she had seen it
do once before, and transforming him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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