"It is like walking on the edge of a precipice in the dark," he said in
a low voice, and his grasp tightened as he spoke.
There was something mesmeric in his touch that overpowered Ideala. She
felt a change in herself at the moment, and she was never the same
woman again.
"I will help you, if I can," he said, after another pause, and then he
let her go.
After that they talked for some time. He tried to persuade her to
reconsider her decision and leave her husband. He honestly believed it
was the best thing she could do, and told her why he thought so. She
acknowledged the wisdom of his advice, but declined to follow it, and
he was somewhat puzzled, for the reasons she gave were hardly enough to
account for her determination. They wandered away from that subject at
last, however, and talked of many other things. He told Ideala of his
first coming to the Great Hospital as a patient, and gave her some of
the details of his own case, and told her enough of his private history
to arouse her sympathy and interest; but of the nature of these
confidences I know nothing. Ideala felt in honour bound not to repeat
them, as they were made to her in the course of a private conversation,
and she was always scrupulously faithful to all such trusts. I know,
however, that he was a man who had suffered acutely, both from unhappy
circumstances and from those troubles of the mind which beset clever
men at the outset of their career, and sometimes never leave them
entirely at peace. But this man was something more than a clever man;
he was a man in a thousand. He had in a strong degree all that is worst
and best in a man. The highest and most spiritual aspirations warred in
him with the most carnal impulses, and he spent his days in fighting to
attain to the one and subdue the other.
Ideala had never known a man like this man. His talents, his rapid
changes of mood, as sense or conscience got the upper hand, and his
versatility charmed her imagination and excited her interest; and he
had, besides, that magnetic power over her by which it is given to some
men to compel people of certain temperaments to their will. While she
was with him he could have made her believe that black was white, and
not only believe it, but be glad to think that it was so; and he always
compelled her to say exactly what she had in her mind at the moment,
even when it was something that she would very much rather not have
said.
"But I am forgetting my other object in coming," Ideala broke off at
last. "May I look at the books?"
Lorrimer took out his watch. "You ought to have some lunch first," he
said. "If you will come now and have some, we can return and look at
the books afterwards."
Ideala acquiesced, fearing it was his own lunch time, and knowing it
would detain him if she did not accompany him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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