Transcribed from the 1905 Hurst and Blackett edition by David Price, email ccx074@pglaf.org IDLE IDEAS in 1905 * * * * * BY JEROME K. JEROME AUTHOR OF “Three Men in a Boat,” “Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow,” etc. [Picture: Decorative graphic] LONDON HURST AND BLACKETT, LIMITED 182, HIGH HOLBORN, W.C. _All rights reserved_ CONTENTS. CHAP. PAGE I. ARE WE AS INTERESTING AS WE THINK WE ARE? 1 II. SHOULD WOMEN BE BEAUTIFUL? 16 III. WHEN IS THE BEST TIME TO BE MERRY? 29 IV. DO WE LIE A-BED TOO LATE? 46 V. SHOULD MARRIED MEN PLAY GOLF? 60 VI. ARE EARLY MARRIAGES A MISTAKE? 74 VII. DO WRITERS WRITE TOO MUCH? 89 VIII. SHOULD SOLDIERS BE POLITE? 105 IX. OUGHT STORIES TO BE TRUE? 122 X. CREATURES THAT ONE DAY SHALL BE MEN 141 XI. HOW TO BE HAPPY THOUGH LITTLE 158 XII. SHOULD WE SAY WHAT WE THINK, OR THINK WHAT WE 173 SAY? XIII. IS THE AMERICAN HUSBAND MADE ENTIRELY OF STAINED 186 GLASS XIV. DOES THE YOUNG MAN KNOW EVERYTHING WORTH KNOWING? 199 XV. HOW MANY CHARMS HATH MUSIC, WOULD YOU SAY? 213 XVI. THE WHITE MAN’S BURDEN! NEED IT BE SO HEAVY? 225 XVII. WHY DIDN’T HE MARRY THE GIRL? 238 XVIII. WHAT MRS. WILKINS THOUGHT ABOUT IT 251 XIX. SHALL WE BE RUINED BY CHINESE CHEAP LABOUR? 264 XX. HOW TO SOLVE THE SERVANT PROBLEM 278 XXI. WHY WE HATE THE FOREIGNER 292 ARE WE AS INTERESTING AS WE THINK WE ARE? “CHARMED. Very hot weather we’ve been having of late—I mean cold. Let me see, I did not quite catch your name just now. Thank you so much. Yes, it is a bit close.” And a silence falls, neither of us being able to think what next to say. What has happened is this: My host has met me in the doorway, and shaken me heartily by the hand. “So glad you were able to come,” he has said. “Some friends of mine here, very anxious to meet you.” He has bustled me across the room. “Delightful people. You’ll like them—have read all your books.”