Idle Ideas in 1905Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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Idle Ideas in 1905
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
“The second violins,” continues the Wagnerian enthusiast, “are carrying
on the Wotan theme.” That they are carrying on goes without saying: the
players’ faces are streaming with perspiration.
“The brass,” explains my friend—his object is to cultivate my ear—“is
accompanying the singers.” I should have said drowning them. There are
occasions when I can rave about Wagner with the best of them. High class
moods come to all of us. The difference between the really high-class
man and us commonplace, workaday men is the difference between, say, the
eagle and the barnyard chicken. I am the barnyard chicken. I have my
wings. There are ecstatic moments when I feel I want to spurn the sordid
earth and soar into the realms of art. I do fly a little, but my body is
heavy, and I only get as far as the fence. After a while I find it
lonesome on the fence, and I hop down again among my fellows.
Listening to Wagner, during such temporary Philistinic mood, my sense of
fair play is outraged. A lone, lorn woman stands upon the stage trying
to make herself heard. She has to do this sort of thing for her living;
maybe an invalid mother, younger brothers and sisters are dependent upon
her. One hundred and forty men, all armed with powerful instruments,
well-organised, and most of them looking well-fed, combine to make it
impossible for a single note of that poor woman’s voice to be heard above
their din. I see her standing there, opening and shutting her mouth,
getting redder and redder in the face. She is singing, one feels sure of
it; one could hear her if only those one hundred and forty men would ease
up for a minute. She makes one mighty, supreme effort; above the banging
of the drums, the blare of the trumpets, the shrieking of the strings,
that last despairing note is distinctly heard.
She has won, but the victory has cost her dear. She sinks down fainting
on the stage and is carried off by supers. Chivalrous indignation has
made it difficult for me to keep my seat watching the unequal contest.
My instinct was to leap the barrier, hurl the bald-headed chief of her
enemies from his high chair, and lay about me with the trombone or the
clarionet—whichever might have come the easier to my snatch.
“You cowardly lot of bullies,” I have wanted to cry, “are you not ashamed
of yourselves? A hundred and forty of you against one, and that one a
still beautiful and, comparatively speaking, young lady. Be quiet for a
minute—can’t you? Give the poor girl a chance.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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