Idle Ideas in 1905Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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Idle Ideas in 1905
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
When the proper time comes, and if he is where you expect to find him
while thinking of your upper C, you will hit him lightly on the shoulder
with your sword, and then he can die to his own particular tune. If you
have been severely wounded in battle, or in any other sort of row, and
have got to sing a long ballad before you finally expire, you don’t want
to have to think how a man would really behave who knew he had only got a
few minutes to live and was feeling bad about it. The chances are that
he would not want to sing at all. The woman who really loved him would
not encourage him to sing. She would want him to keep quiet while she
moved herself about a bit, in case there was anything that could be done
for him.
If a mob is climbing the stairs thirsting for your blood, you do not want
to stand upright with your arms stretched out, a good eighteen inches
from the door, while you go over at some length the varied incidents
leading up to the annoyance. If your desire were to act naturally you
would push against that door for all you were worth, and yell for
somebody to bring you a chest of drawers and a bedstead, and things like
that, to pile up against it. If you were a king, and were giving a
party, you would not want your guests to fix you up at the other end of
the room and leave you there, with nobody to talk to but your own wife,
while they turned their backs upon you, and had a long and complicated
dance all to themselves. You would want to be in it; you would want to
let them know that you were king.
In acting, all these little points have to be considered. In opera,
everything is rightly sacrificed to musical necessity. I have seen the
young, enthusiastic opera-singer who thought that he or she could act and
sing at the same time. The experienced artist takes the centre of the
stage and husbands his resources. Whether he is supposed to be indignant
because somebody has killed his mother, or cheerful because he is going
out to fight his country’s foes, who are only waiting until he has
finished singing to attack the town, he leaves it to the composer to make
clear.
Also it was Herr Wagner’s idea that the back cloth would leave the
opera-goer indifferent to the picture gallery. The castle on the rock,
accessible only by balloon, in which every window lights up
simultaneously and instantaneously, one minute after sunset, while the
full moon is rushing up the sky at the pace of a champion comet—that
wonderful sea that suddenly opens and swallows up the ship—those
snow-clad mountains, over which the shadow of the hero passes like a
threatening cloud—the grand old chateau, trembling in the wind—what need,
will ask the opera-goer of the future, of your Turners and your Corots,
when, for prices ranging from a shilling upwards, we can have a dozen
pictures such as these rolled up and down before us every evening?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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