Idle Ideas in 1905Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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Idle Ideas in 1905
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
Eyebrows and eyelashes, the professor assumes, the lady would like to
match the hair. Too much eccentricity the professor does not agree with.
Nature, after all, is the best guide; neatness combined with taste, that
is the ideal to be aimed at. The eyebrows should be almost straight, the
professor thinks; the eyelashes long and silky, with just the suspicion
of a curl. The professor would also suggest a little less cheekbone.
Cheekbones are being worn low this season.
Will the lady have a dimpled chin, or does she fancy the square-cut jaw?
Maybe the square-cut jaw and the firm, sweet mouth are more suitable for
the married woman. They go well enough with the baby and the tea-urn,
and the strong, proud man in the background. For the unmarried girl the
dimpled chin and the rosebud mouth are, perhaps, on the whole safer.
Some gentlemen are so nervous of that firm, square jaw. For the present,
at all events, let us keep to the rosebud and the dimple.
Complexion! Well, there is only one complexion worth considering—a
creamy white, relieved by delicate peach pink. It goes with everything,
and is always effective. Rich olives, striking pallors—yes, you hear of
these things doing well. The professor’s experience, however, is that
for all-round work you will never improve upon the plain white and pink.
It is less liable to get out of order, and is the easiest at all times to
renew.
For the figure, the professor recommends something lithe and supple.
Five foot four is a good height, but that is a point that should be
discussed first with the dressmaker. For trains, five foot six is,
perhaps, preferable. But for the sporting girl, who has to wear short
frocks, that height would, of course, be impossible.
The bust and the waist are also points on which the dressmaker should be
consulted. Nothing should be done in a hurry. What is the fashion going
to be for the next two or three seasons? There are styles demanding that
beginning at the neck you should curve out, like a pouter pigeon. There
is apparently no difficulty whatever in obtaining this result. But if
crinolines, for instance, are likely to come in again! The lady has only
to imagine it for herself: the effect might be grotesque, suggestive of a
walking hour-glass. So, too, with the waist. For some fashions it is
better to have it just a foot from the neck. At other times it is more
useful lower down. The lady will kindly think over these details and let
the professor know. While one is about it, one may as well make a sound
job.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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