Idle Ideas in 1905Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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Idle Ideas in 1905
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
Their mild eyes haunt you; on the next occasion you do not forget. The
Park merges into the forest; you go by winding ways till you reach the
trim Dutch garden, moat-encircled, in the centre of which stands the prim
old-fashioned villa, which, to the simple Dutchman, appears a palace.
The _concierge_, an old soldier, bows low to you and introduces you to
his wife—a stately, white-haired dame, who talks most languages a little,
so far as relates to all things within and appertaining to this tiny
palace of the wood. To things without, beyond the wood, her powers of
conversation do not extend: apparently such matters do not interest her.
She conducts you to the Chinese Room; the sun streams through the
windows, illuminating the wondrous golden dragons standing out in bold
relief from the burnished lacquer work, decorating still further with
light and shade the delicate silk embroideries thin taper hands have
woven with infinite pains. The walls are hung with rice paper, depicting
the conventional scenes of the conventional Chinese life.
You find your thoughts wandering. These grotesque figures, these
caricatures of humanity! A comical creature, surely, this Chinaman, the
pantaloon of civilization. How useful he has been to us for our farces,
our comic operas! This yellow baby, in his ample pinafore, who lived
thousands of years ago, who has now passed into this strange second
childhood.
But is he dying—or does the life of a nation wake again, as after sleep?
Is he this droll, harmless thing he here depicts himself? And if not?
Suppose fresh sap be stirring through his three hundred millions? We
thought he was so very dead; we thought the time had come to cut him up
and divide him, the only danger being lest we should quarrel over his
carcase among ourselves.
Suppose it turns out as the fable of the woodcutter and the bear? The
woodcutter found the bear lying in the forest. At first he was much
frightened, but the bear lay remarkably still. So the woodman crept
nearer, ventured to kick the bear—very gently, ready to run if need be.
Surely the bear was dead! And parts of a bear are good to eat, and
bearskin to poor woodfolk on cold winter nights is grateful. So the
woodman drew his knife and commenced the necessary preliminaries. But
the bear was not dead.
If the Chinaman be not dead? If the cutting-up process has only served
to waken him? In a little time from now we shall know.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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