Idle Ideas in 1905Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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Idle Ideas in 1905
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
English essays; English wit and humor
From the Chinese Room the white-haired dame leads us to the Japanese
Room. Had gentle-looking Princess Amalia some vague foreshadowing of the
future in her mind when she planned these two rooms leading into one
another? The Japanese decorations are more grotesque, the designs less
cheerfully comical than those of cousin Chinaman. These monstrous,
mis-shapen wrestlers, these patient-looking gods, with their inscrutable
eyes! Was it always there, or is it only by the light of present events
that one reads into the fantastic fancies of the artist working long ago
in the doorway of his paper house, a meaning that has hitherto escaped
us?
But the chief attraction of the Huis ten Bosch is the gorgeous Orange
Saloon, lighted by a cupola, fifty feet above the floor, the walls one
blaze of pictures, chiefly of the gorgeous Jordaen school—“The Defeat of
the Vices,” “Time Vanquishing Slander”—mostly allegorical, in praise of
all the virtues, in praise of enlightenment and progress. Aptly enough
in a room so decorated, here was held the famous Peace Congress that
closed the last century. One can hardly avoid smiling as one thinks of
the solemn conclave of grandees assembled to proclaim the popularity of
Peace.
It was in the autumn of the same year that Europe decided upon the
dividing-up of China, that soldiers were instructed by Christian monarchs
to massacre men, women and children, the idea being to impress upon the
Heathen Chinee the superior civilization of the white man. The Boer war
followed almost immediately. Since when the white man has been pretty
busy all over the world with his “expeditions” and his “missions.” The
world is undoubtedly growing more refined. We do not care for ugly
words. Even the burglar refers airily to the “little job” he has on
hand. You would think he had found work in the country. I should not be
surprised to learn that he says a prayer before starting, telegraphs home
to his anxious wife the next morning that his task has been crowned with
blessing.
Until the far-off date of Universal Brotherhood war will continue.
Matters considered unimportant by both parties will—with a mighty
flourish of trumpets—be referred to arbitration. I was talking of a
famous financier a while ago with a man who had been his secretary.
Amongst other anecdotes, he told me of a certain agreement about which
dispute had arisen. The famous financier took the paper into his own
hands and made a few swift calculations.
“Let it go,” he concluded, “it is only a thousand pounds at the outside.
May as well be honest.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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