"Let me think!--let me think!" said the old man; and, Helwyse drawing
back, there ensued a silence, varied only by a long and tremulous sigh
from his companion; whether of relief or dejection, the visitor could
not decide. But when Mr. MacGentle spoke, it was with more assurance.
Either from mortification at his illusion, or more probably from
imperfect perception of it, he made no reference to what had passed.
Old age possesses a kind of composure, arising from dulled
sensibilities, which the most self-possessed youth can never rival.
"We heard, through the London branch of our house, that Thor Helwyse
died some two years ago."
"He was drowned in the Baltic Sea. I am his son Balder."
"He was my friend," observed the old man, simply; but the tone he used
was a magnet to attract the son's heart. "You look very much like him,
only his eyes were blue, and yours, as I now see, are dark; but you
might be mistaken for him."
"I sometimes have been," rejoined Balder, with a half-smile.
"And you are his son! You are most welcome!" said Mr. MacGentle, with
old-fashioned courtesy.
"Forgive me if I have--if anything has occurred to annoy you. I am a
very old man, Mr. Balder; so old that sometimes I believe I forget how
old I am! And Thor is dead,--drowned,--you say?"
"The Baltic, you know, has been the grave of many of our forefathers;
I think my father was glad to follow them. I never saw him in better
spirits than during that gale. We were bound to England from Denmark."
"Helen's death saddened him,--I know,--I know; he was never gay after
that. But how--how did--?"
"He would keep the deck, though the helmsman had to be lashed to the
wheel. I think he never cared to see land again, but he was full of
spirits and life. He said this was weather fit for a Viking.
"We were standing by the foremast, holding on by a belaying-pin. The
sea came over the side, and struck him overboard. I went after him.
Another wave brought me back; but not my father! I was knocked
senseless, and when I came to, it was too late."
Helwyse's voice, towards the end of this story, became husky, and Mr.
MacGentle's eyes, as he listened, grew dimmer than ever.
"Ah!" said he, "I shall not die so. I shall die away gradually, like a
breeze that has been blowing this way and that all day, and falls at
sunset, no one knows how. Thor died as became him; and I shall die as
becomes me,--as becomes me!" And so, indeed, he did, a few years
later; but not unknown nor uncared for.
Balder Helwyse was a philosopher, no doubt; but it was no part of his
wisdom to be indifferent to unstrained sympathy. He went on to speak
further of his own concerns,--a thing he was little used to do.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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