A dreadful sense of loneliness crept over her, even more intense than
that which she had once felt before, when she had gone on board the
steamer at Bombay, journeying from one grave to another. It seemed
impossible that Gerard should not be returning. She had never craved
him so much as in this hour of crisis. Again she read the now crumpled
sheet containing his curt message. Her blind faith in his acquiescence
in the sacrifice was rudely shaken. He had gone from her in a passion of
anger. There was no other solution. She felt sick with doubt and dread.
Her eyes wandered round the room, trying to derive assurance of
his return from the familiar, external signs of his occupancy.
His fishing-rods stood in a corner in their neat canvas cases. His
cartridge-belt hung festooned beneath a hunting-trophy on the wall,
surmounted by a fox’s mask. Opposite, by the mantelpiece, stretched
his overflowing pipe-rack. On a little table by the side of the great
armchair, whose well-worn seat showed the impress of his huge limbs,
still remained his pipe of the morning, with the ashes half fallen out.
His slippers lay beneath the chair. Irene looked at them pathetically,
and again felt the very miserable desire to cry. The trivial generally
tends the flood-gates of tears. In the horrors of a siege women who have
viewed, brave-eyed, men butchered before their faces, have been known to
break down at the sight of a wrecked canary-cage.
Presently Jane came in with a letter. A commissionnaire had brought it
and was waiting in the hall for an answer. Irene took it from the
girl’s hand with a quick heart-throb. From Gerard, doubtless
explanatory--perhaps utterly reassuring. But as soon as her eyes fell
upon the envelope she recognised Hugh’s writing, and felt miserably
disappointed. The letter was addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. Merriam.” It
ran:
“Dearest Ones--The terrible price you have paid for my life makes me
shrink from crossing your threshold unbidden. For such a deed it is idle
to talk of gratitude. Send for me and I shall come. But God knows what I
can say to you both. Hugh.”
She sat for a few moments staring before her. Jane stood by respectful
and dutiful, holding the brass salver by her side. Suddenly Irene rose,
and, standing at her writing-table, dashed off a hasty line. They would
have paid the price fifty times over for his sake. She would send for
him soon, but to-night she was exhausted. He must be bright and happy.
The bond between the three was only firmer and dearer. The maid took the
note to the waiting messenger and Irene sank again into her chair by the
fire.
She felt unspeakably grateful to Hugh for writing. How could she have
received him? How explained Gerard’s absence? The thought of a meeting
was a burning fire in cheeks and bosom. Fortunately it was avoided.
She thanked the tact that always underlay and checked Hugh’s impulses.
Another man, equally generous, would have rushed to throw himself at her
feet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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