If Winter ComesHutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
General
If Winter Comes
Hutchinson, A. S. M. (Arthur Stuart-Menteth)
Fiction
Public entrance to these premises was gained by doors of the central
shop only. It was considered proper and in keeping with the times to
have window displays, but it was considered improper and out of keeping
with the traditions of Fortune, East and Sabre to present more than the
extreme minimum of shoppish appearance. You entered therefore by but one
door, which was, moreover, not a shop door but a church door and one of
the several models which Fortune, East and Sabre had designed and
executed; you entered, between the vestments and the lecterns, not a
shop but a vestry; and you passed, on the left, not into a shop but into
a classroom, and on the right not into a shop but into a book-lined
study.
It is said that if you loitered long enough in Fortune, East and Sabre's
you would meet every dignitary of the Church and of education in the
United Kingdom; and it was added that you would not have to wait long.
Fortune, East and Sabre, The Precincts, Tidborough.
II
Maintaining the unshoplike character of the ground-floor rooms upon
which the plate-glass windows looked, virtually no business, in the
vulgar form of buying and selling, was carried on in the vestry, in the
classroom or in the book-lined study. Many modern and entirely worthy
businesses are conducted under the strident banner of "Cash Only."
Fortune, East and Sabre's did not know the word cash. One would as soon
look for or expect a till, to say nothing of one of those terrific
machines known as cash registers, in the vestry, the classroom or the
study as one would look for a lectern or an adjustable school desk in a
beer-house. "Credit only" was here the principle, and accounts were
rendered, never on delivery, but quarterly. One does not, after all, pay
for a font out of one's trouser pocket and carry it off under one's arm;
nor for a school desk out of a purse and bear it away on one's head.
Only in the book-lined study were trifling transactions occasionally
carried out and these very rarely, constituting something of an event
(and an event greatly deprecated by the Reverend Sebastian Fortune), the
tactless misadventure of some pedagogue or student on excursion to the
sights of Tidborough.
No one, in any case, committed twice the indiscretion of purchasing a
single volume for cash. The book-lined study was in the care of a Mr.
Tombs, a gentleman who combined the appearance of a mute at a funeral
with the aloof and mysterious manner of a man waiting for his wife in a
ladies' underwear department, and the peculiar faculty of making the
haphazard visitor feel that he had strayed into a ladies' underwear shop
also. "Have you an account with us, sir?" Mr. Tombs would inquire; and
on being told "No" would look guiltily all around (as it were at
partially undressed ladies) and whisper, "Except to the masters at the
School, sir, who all have accounts, we are not supposed to sell single
volumes. It is against our rule, sir."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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