“Wonder at me!” said Durell, after a pause, during which he could not
speak. “Wonder at me! Why don’t you curse me and loathe me for being an
abject wretch, for the sake of my children’s bread? I thank God for
taking their bread from them before my eyes, if it teaches them to
despise their father and their father’s business.”
“O, husband!” cried Mrs. Durell.
“I mean what I say,” he continued, with a forced calmness of voice and
manner. “I am going to leave them—to leave them in your charge; and I
command you to bring them up in horror of everything that is dishonest,
and vile, and cruel; and if you bring them up to abhor everything that
is dishonest, and vile, and cruel, you must bring them up either to
forget their father and his employments, or to despise him for being so
employed. I give you your choice, and only pray God that I may hide
myself in my grave before either comes to pass.”
“Don’t listen to him. Don’t believe him,” cried the wife, turning first
to Le Brocq, and then to Anna. “You see he is not himself; you see he is
talking like——”
“Like a man who is waking from a morning dream,” said her husband, whose
excited senses caught looks and words which were not intended for him.
“I am not drunk, Le Brocq, though I have no right to complain if you
fancy me so; and I am not mad.”
“But angry,—very angry,” Anna ventured to interpose.
“Well; if I have been angry, it has nothing to do with what I am going
to say, which is about you and yours, Le Brocq, with whom I have no
cause to be angry. I am like a man waking from a dream; and I see many
things that I wish it had pleased God that I should see long ago.”
“You cannot say you have no cause to be angry with us,” cried Le Brocq,
moved by a sudden impulse of sensibility; “that is, with me. Anna has
always been your friend; and if my wife has not, it is only because she
has copied me. I have doubted you all along till now; and I am very
sorry for it.”
“Doubted my honour?” asked Durell, bitterly.
“Doubted your being the friend you professed yourself. I thought that
you might, with the power of your office, have prevented some of the
misfortunes that have befallen us. But now I find——”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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