_Epictetus._ Are philosophers, then, only philosophers for the people; and, instead of instructing them, must they play tricks before them? Give me rather the gravity of dancing dogs. Their motions are for the rabble; their reverential eyes and pendant paws are under the pressure of awe at a master; but they are dogs, and not below their destinies. _Seneca._ Epictetus! I will give you three talents to let me take that sentiment for my own. _Epictetus._ I would give thee twenty, if I had them, to make it thine. _Seneca._ You mean, by lending it the graces of my language? _Epictetus._ I mean, by lending it to thy conduct. And now let me console and comfort thee, under the calamity I brought on thee by calling thee _my friend_. If thou art not my friend, why send for me? Enemy I can have none: being a slave, Fortune has now done with me. _Seneca._ Continue, then, your former observations. What were you saying? _Epictetus._ That which thou interruptedst. _Seneca._ What was it? _Epictetus._ I should have remarked that, if thou foundest ingenuity in my writings, thou must have discovered in them some deviation from the plain, homely truths of Zeno and Cleanthes. _Seneca._ We all swerve a little from them. _Epictetus._ In practice too? _Seneca._ Yes, even in practice, I am afraid. _Epictetus._ Often? _Seneca._ Too often. _Epictetus._ Strange! I have been attentive, and yet have remarked but one difference among you great personages at Rome. _Seneca._ What difference fell under your observation? _Epictetus._ Crates and Zeno and Cleanthes taught us that our desires were to be subdued by philosophy alone. In this city, their acute and inventive scholars take us aside, and show us that there is not only one way, but two. _Seneca._ Two ways? _Epictetus._ They whisper in our ear, 'These two ways are philosophy and enjoyment: the wiser man will take the readier, or, not finding it, the alternative.' Thou reddenest. _Seneca._ Monstrous degeneracy. _Epictetus._ What magnificent rings! I did not notice them until thou liftedst up thy hands to heaven, in detestation of such effeminacy and impudence. _Seneca._ The rings are not amiss; my rank rivets them upon my fingers: I am forced to wear them. Our emperor gave me one, Epaphroditus another, Tigellinus the third. I cannot lay them aside a single day, for fear of offending the gods, and those whom they love the most worthily. _Epictetus._ Although they make thee stretch out thy fingers, like the arms and legs of one of us slaves upon a cross. _Seneca._ Oh, horrible! Find some other resemblance. _Epictetus._ The extremities of a fig-leaf. _Seneca._ Ignoble! _Epictetus._ The claws of a toad, trodden on or stoned. _Seneca._ You have great need, Epictetus, of an instructor in eloquence and rhetoric: you want topics, and tropes, and figures. _Epictetus._ I have no room for them. They make such a buzz in the house, a man's own wife cannot understand what he says to her.