I suppose I must have been going to sleep when I thought that last sentence. For I suddenly found myself in the centre of Epping Forest, and before me was a college dean in full academicals. He was a leathery old dean to look at, and yet he had some nervousness of manner. Of course he was not a real dean, but only a dream dean. The real deans--I cannot say it too emphatically--are _not_ leathery, and are _not_ nervous. When he saw me, he began to rub his hands gently and to smile, until I thought my heart would break. “This is a little unusual,” he said; “a little irregular, is it not? Have you permission, may I ask, from the University authorities, to drive a Canadian canoe tandem through Epping Forest?” “No, sir,” I said politely; “but I was not aware that permission was required.” “Epps’s Forest,” he retorted inanely, “contains absolutely no fatty matter. Applicants are therefore assured, if they cannot borrow here, it would be futile to apply elsewhere. Personal visit invited.” “But, sir,” I urged, “this is a personal----” “Stop!” he interrupted me, tapping the palm of one hand with the forefinger of the other. “That’s not the point, and you know it’s not the point. I have come here to practise my part--Titania--in _Midsummer Night’s Dream_, with real fairies. I do not do it because I like it. I do it because I wish to entertain and interest some young ladies who will be staying with me during the June festivities. You interrupt my preparations, you frighten the fairies, you annoy me exceedingly, and your attendance in college chapel is not what it should be. You’ve been smoking, and you smell. Where no allotment is made the deposit will be returned in full.” I could not quite make it out, because the dean did not seem as if he would make up into a good Titania. But that was the only thing that surprised me. I promised to sit quite still, and not to frighten the fairies, and entreated him to go on with the rehearsal. “Very well,” he said, seating himself on a camp-stool. “You will not see the fairies; but you will hear them. We are now commencing Act II., Scene iii. I give them their cue:-- Sing me now asleep; Then to your offices, and let me rest. Now, then they sing-- You spotted snakes with double tongue. You know it?” I knew it very well; but what the fairies really sang was this:-- FIRST FAIRY. You potted slates, disguised as tongue, Cornèd oxen be not seen; Such things never put him wrong, Never hurt the college dean. CHORUS. Fill him up with mayonnaise, Made in several different ways; (Salmon, chicken mayonnaise; also lobster mayonnaise); Never fear, ’Twill keep him queer, Shocking queer for several days; He _can’t_ work on mayonnaise. SECOND FAIRY.