In a Canadian Canoe; The Nine Muses Minus One, and Other StoriesPain, Barry
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In a Canadian Canoe; The Nine Muses Minus One, and Other Stories
Pain, Barry
English wit and humor
“Maurice,” said Marjorie suddenly, “sometimes a thought flashes across
my mind that in a minute I may be dead. I don’t know even what life
and death mean; yet I have to live and die. There are stars above me,
but I do not know why they are there. There are beasts, and birds, and
insects everywhere, and I do not know how important they are. I feel
lost and horrible. No, I feel like a prisoner beating against an iron
wall. For a few moments it is torture to be like that; I should kill
myself or go mad if it went on. But it always passes away, and three
minutes afterwards I am wondering if I will do my hair a different
way----”
“Don’t!” murmured Maurice, softly.
“Or I can be really angry because my maid knocks something over, or
does something clumsy; when one speaks of it, it seems absurd enough.
Speaking spoils everything. Lovers--in books, I mean--talk the worst
nonsense, and yet that nonsense is the expression of a very fine
thing. I do not think that silence is enough appreciated. I want, for
instance, to let you know what I am thinking. Well, when I put the
thought into words, I lose some of it, or add something to it, or I
alter it by an accident with the tone of my voice. Now if I could just
look at you and you at me, and we could understand one another exactly
through silence, it would be splendid.”
Maurice agreed with her. After two years of disappointment silence
seemed to him almost the only thing left. There was, however, one
thing even more consolatory. About a year after this conversation with
Marjorie the two met once more, and Maurice put his failures behind him
and told Marjorie that he loved her. So they both spoke the nonsense
which they deprecated. We all believe that in affairs of the heart
we are not as the others, and we are all mistaken. With him there
was an iteration of “I love you,” with a deep tremble in the voice;
and with her there was a sighing echo of the same words, coming up
between blushes. The expression of the feeling was almost ludicrous;
the feeling itself was so sacred that the lightest touch of thought
seemed to soil it, and a writer, after turning over his vocabulary in
disgust, can find nothing explanatory which at all matches it. But when
it took place, it seemed to Maurice the only important thing that ever
had happened to him; the psychological studies, which had brought him
so much disappointment, appeared in a new light as a plaything that had
seemed to amuse him until love came.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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